Question for all...

Co-sleeping...it's been a battle for quite awhile now, but hasn't really been an issue until, of course, P came along. Since the kids keep saying that they are afraid to sleep in their beds, every night, I lay down on the floor with the two of them in E's bedroom. I lay down in the middle so there is no arguing about who is next to mommy and they cuddle close to me. I stay until they fall asleep - for E that's very fast, but since e is still taking naps at pre-school, she takes much longer...sometimes up to an hour...and, of course, I often fall asleep, too. I typically wake up about an hour later and go to my room. Then, in the middle of the night, e usually wakes up and joins me...often with E by her side. Now, I have to say that I really don't mind this whole process. I get to cuddle with my kids, and I know this stage is not going to last forever -- so I'm enjoying it while I can. I'm pretty sure I'm not creating some Oedepus Complex or anything like that with my kids. This gives us time to talk about the day and be close. I think it's also possible that once e starts kindergarten and stops taking naps, she'll be more likely to spend the whole night in E's room.

When P visits, it's a bit more of a problem. He feels left out when I spend so much time putting them to bed (I know, waah, waaah), and doesn't like when they come in to invade our bed during the night or early in the morning (don't worry, we are both fully dressed). I explained to him that I am working on the bedtime routine, but they really need me right now. They will be on their own when they are ready. In fact, I've been having a lot of conversations with them about "being ready" so they can make the transition. I've thought about putting e in her own bed after she falls asleep, but she is a fairly light sleeper. I'm pretty sure she would wake up as soon as I picked her up.

So, should I just not worry about this and tell P to basically get over it? Should I be more forceful in getting them to sleep on their own? That just seems like a very long torturous process....I don't know....thoughts?

Long Time, No See...

e swimming at the hotel

Well, I've been a really bad blogger lately, haven't I! I'll try to update everyone on what has been happening! We went to Hawaii for a week the week before Thanksgiving...had a really great time. The kids even traveled well for such a long trip. It took us about 18 hours to get there and three planes. Fortunately, the trip back was a red-eye, and only two planes, so they slept quite a bit. The day after we returned, I put them in the car again and we drove to NC to spend Thanksgiving with P and his daughter. That is a VERY long drive and not one I want to do again. We stopped at our friend's house in DC which is about a 3 1/2 hour drive from my house...P's house is another 7 hours from there.

E swimming with a sea turtle!

So, how did things go, you are wondering? Well, I have to say that I think the honeymoon period is over. I still really like him, but I'm not so sure, anymore, that he is Mr. Right. It is definitely different seeing someone on their own turf. I am also not willing to make that trip again very often, or even at all....It's WAY too far to drive with the kids for a weekend, and if I flew there, I would still have to pay to have the kids taken care of for the weekend. That's a lot of expense and hassle just for a weekend. Besides, I really like spending time with the kids...although, I know that time away with another adult is also a good thing.

So, here are the things that are bothering me....The distance...I just don't know how willing I am to work on that aspect. So far, he seems okay with traveling, so that's good. I also think there are some generational differences between us (he's about 19 years older than me)...he smoked cigars while we were visiting...a lot...he watches old movies all the time...he talks about the news business all the time (he used to be in the news business) and how terrible things are run these days. When he's not talking about the news, he's talking about jazz. And, a lot of complaining! I was considerably colder when I returned from NC and he definitely noticed it. I, of course, didn't talk about all the things that I just listed - just a couple. And, of course, he said all the right things that just made me melt.

He's coming for a visit again on Thursday, so we'll see how things go. I'm not sure how long he's staying...he didn't say...just left it open...I'm not sure I'm thrilled about that. I have lots of work to do, so I'm kind of hoping he doesn't stay too far into the week. I doubt I will have to worry about it.

So, maybe I should just enjoy the fact that I can have sex with someone for awhile and not worry about all this relationship stuff? I don't know. I think he is really in love with me, and I do kind of like the idea of having someone around to do "adult" things with. I'm just beginning to think that I need to find someone with closer interests. So, should I reopen the online dating portals? Do I even tell him that I am doing so? I would say no...especially since he is not in the area. Does that mean that I'm cheating on him? This is very complicated.

Anyway, the kids had a really nice Hanukah and a nice Christmas (we celebrate both). Santa had to give e an IOU for a DSi that didn't arrive on time. I ordered it from China and I'm beginning to think that it got lost in shipping....I have to say, though, that the customer service from this company has been beyond extraordinary. They have communicated with me regularly, and even said that if the box was lost in shipping, they would express a new one and send me an extra 20 games with it for free. So, for just over $300, I got the DSi, 248 (!) games, some other stuff, and now, potentially another 20 games. I figured I can sell some of the games to game stop and maybe even make money on the deal. Yes, I'm always looking for a good bargain! :-)

Hope everyone has a wonderful New Year!

DC Weekend

Well, the more time I spend with this guy, the more I love him. We spent the weekend in DC and had a great time. He stayed with a friend of his and I stayed with a friend of mine (one of E's half siblings). Turns out they lived a few blocks from each other in the same neighborhood. How's that for coincidence?

We arrived around 8:30 Friday night and went straight to his friend's house to say hello and have some dessert with them. They had some other people there, too, some of P's friends, around the table. My kids were a little antsy and shy, though, with so many people, and having just spent three and a half hours in the car. They were all over me which made it difficult to carry on any conversation with anyone. So, we didn't stay long, but it gave me a little bit of an opportunity to meet P's daughter, as well. She is just a doll.

Saturday, we went to a local Renaissance Festival. I have never been to one of these things and was really amazed at how seriously people take them! Some really incredible costumes. I'm not sure what people do with these costumes the rest of the year, but it is clear that they look forward to wearing them for the Festival. P said that he could tell his daughter was sizing me up at times while we were at the festival. I really liked her...sweet, unassuming, smart, easy to get along with. P and I went out for a nice dinner later that evening and had some time by ourselves (well, without kids and friends, anyway). We spent a couple hours talking at dinner about just everything. I can tell he just adores me, and I really love him, too. I know we've only been seeing each other for a very short time, so you are all probably thinking that I am somewhat naive about this whole thing or that it's my hormones talking. We both feel like we've known each other for years...kind of soul mates. I think, as you get older, you just know these things.

Saturday night there was a black tie event that P forgot was happening that weekend. He didn't want to go, anyway, but there were people there who flew in from all over to go to this event. Apparently, by midnight, they were all calling him and texting him to try to get him to go to the after-party, since they found out he was in town and he told them he was having dinner with me instead of going to the party. Besides, he didn't have his tux with him (the after-party was more casual). Anyway, we opted for breakfast/coffee the next morning.

So, Sunday we had breakfast with another author friend of his and a producer from Hollywood. P was in his element. I told him that next year, we were going to go to this party because it was a great networking opportunity for him. His next book should be out by then and he spoke to the producer about a movie idea that will hopefully have some traction by then, too. I really liked meeting these two guys - both old friends of P - both really great guys. I think a person's friends say a lot about someone.

P and his daughter left late morning to head back to NC and we went to the Museum of Natural History with my friend and all the kids. Lots of fun, but we didn't spend too long there since we wanted to get back on the road, too.

P is coming back to stay with me for about five days next week...can't wait. Then, the kids and I are off to Hawaii for a conference (I know you feel sorry for me) for a week. The day after we get back, we will get in the car and go to NC (with a stop in DC to break up the drive) to spend Thanksgiving with him and his daughter.

I just can't seem to get enough of this guy...SO opposite of the way I usually am...Usually, I can't wait to get my own space after several hours with them (or in some cases, several minutes).

Now I Know

He's THE one. No question. I guess when it's right, you know. We spent an entire week together (barring a couple days in the middle) and I still didn't want him to leave. He arrived last Sunday, stayed until Wednesday, went to visit his sister, came back on Friday and left again yesterday afternoon. Last Monday, we spent the entire day together without the kids. That was a treat. We talked a LOT. After the kids went to bed at night, we would spend many hours more talking and enjoying each other's company. I really enjoy being with him. The "L" word even came up before he left and we both agreed that we have something very unique and special together. I can't remember the last time I enjoyed being with someone so much. He's really great with the kids, too. They really like him and say that he's a good tickler. I thought that was pretty funny. I guess that's all it takes to impress a 4 and 7 year old! We are meeting again this weekend in DC. Hopefully, he'll have his daughter with him, too. I'm looking forward to meeting her.
He came to E's birthday party on Saturday at the roller skating rink, too, and was a great help. I'm not used to asking other people for help, so that's taking me a little while to get used to. Fortunately, he offers, but I did tell him that I'm not used to asking and that I just do everything myself. The kids had a great time at the party. Three hours of non-stop roller skating. E is getting pretty good at it - even e is getting to the point where I don't need to hold her all the time. On Sunday, I took the kids to one of e's friend's birthday party. They live on a 60 acre farm with lots of animals and places to explore. E and e had lots of fun chasing the ducks and turkeys, playing with all the other animals, and going on the hayride.

The Four-Day First Date

Okay, I have to admit that four days for a first date is pretty long! But I also have to admit, it was really nice to have him here. There are clearly some things that will drive me crazy - but that's true in any relationship. We both had a really good time, though. We both felt close and very comfortable with each other and I was actually sorry to see him go this morning. He's coming back this weekend, just for one night, for E's birthday party. This long distance thing is definitely going to be tough. We talked about a weekend away somewhere...I'll have to figure out when we might do that and what to do with the kids. When the weather starts to turn, it's going to be even more difficult. We definitely have some challenges ahead of us.

Quick Update

Okay, so he arrived Sunday around noon and he is still here. We spent Sunday at one of the local Fall places, where we could go through a corn maze, take a hayride to the pumpkin patch, and do lots of Fall things. It was a lot of fun but I wasn't sure he was warming up to the kids (we took another kid along, too...the little girl up the street I told you about earlier, who seems to practically live at my house when she stays with her father). I think he just didn't want to overstep his boundaries with them.

We had a little bit of alone time Sunday night, but then the kids woke up because they noticed I wasn't in the room with them. Oh well. We did have all day yesterday, though. The kids were in school (E was in his after school program all day since it was a holiday), and I played hooky from the one class I was to teach in the afternoon. I have to admit that it's been really nice to be close to someone again. It's been a really long time!

Last night, he started to warm up to the kids some more....he played his trumpet for them (they loved that - I did, too), and tickled them a lot. They seemed to warm up to him a little more, too.

While I'm really enjoying this time with him, and it feels very comfortable, I'm not sure yet that he's THE one...we'll see. I think that takes a lot of time. I'm enjoying our conversation, but he's talking a lot about work...he's retired now, and I don't really know a lot about his industry, so that has me a bit bored.

He leaves tomorrow morning. We'll see what happens after that. All in all, for a very long first date, I think it's been going pretty well. The fact that I'm feeling a lot better about my body and everything helps, too. I'm down to about a size 6 from a year ago when I was about a size 18 or 20...and maybe even pushing that. So, this new sense of actually feeling sexy is kind of nice. The toothless, muscle-bound guy that delivered my wood over the weekend also clearly made a pass at me. I guess if things don't work out with my trumpet-playing friend, I have an alternative!

Yikes!

He's coming for a visit! Our correspondence and phone calls had been going really well. The conversation was easy and relaxed, but we always tiptoed around anything that had to do with "us." So, I decided to go out on a limb. Our meeting in DC is three weeks away and I really didn't want to wait that long to see him. Besides, we would be with a lot of other people the whole time and not have any real "alone" time except for the fact that my friend offered to watch the kids while we went out for dinner.

So, I asked if he would consider coming for a visit. I figured that he knew I couldn't go there any time soon (it's about an eight hour drive), and his schedule is much more flexible but I'm sure he didn't want to invite himself over. So, I took the plunge and asked him, having no idea as to whether I was overstepping my bounds or not....He's coming to visit this weekend! Not sure of the exact day yet, but probably Saturday and will stay until Tuesday. That's a long time for a first date! Not exactly the way I had envisioned things to go with a first date with someone, but since he lives so far away it's a little difficult to get any time with him at all. I guess this time together will be pretty telling! I'm obviously very nervous about seeing him again, but also very excited. It's been a very long time since I've been with anyone, but I am really ready to have a relationship now. I'll let you know how it goes!