I Really Need to Stay on Top of This Better....

The whole reason for starting this blog was so I could remember all the great things the kids and I do together...well, that doesn't help, if I don't keep up with things! So, a brief update on what we've been up to. Before school started back we went camping at the family camp near Pittsburgh for a week. I always enjoy that time. It's SO relaxing for me and the kids have a blast. E took horseback riding lessons and e and I did a lot of kayaking. I did the zipline, too, but got stuck! They had to come rescue me because I didn't make it all the way to the end. Oh well. Still a lot of fun. The kids and I took long bike rides in the woods almost every night after dinner, too. Great bonding time with them.

We've been busy doing a lot of other things, but of course I don't remember a whole lot right now! So, I'll give you an update on the man situation. I'd love to get your thoughts. I really like this guy. We've been seeing each other for about seven months now. He's wonderful with the kids and he's great around the house. I enjoy spending time with him. Neither of us have uttered the "L" word, but I think the feelings are there. A couple weeks ago we spent the day together (just he and I) at a football game. The kids spent the night at a friend's house so H was able to spend the night at my house for the first time. About a week earlier I had mentioned to him that I wanted to take the relationship kind of to the next step - meaning have him stay over once in awhile. I'm not really sure how to make this transition with the kids, so it worked out well that the kids went on a sleepover that night. Anyway, when I said "next step" he thought I meant marriage! Well, I'm in no way ready to get married, but I thought I'd want to work towards that.

So, on the way home from the football game, we had a long talk and he said he never wanted to get married again (burned badly in his previous marriage of 20 years). I told him at that time that I did want to work towards that and that I would have to move on. Now, I don't know...I mean, what is really the purpose of getting married? I'm already established financially, I have my own kids, if we did get married, we probably wouldn't live together for awhile since he built his house himself and I would never ask him to sell it...besides he loves it there and he's close to his own work (about 40 minutes away from where I live). And, I live a mile away from my office in a great neighborhood for the kids that is about a quarter of a mile from all the schools they will attend through high school. So, what really is the purpose of getting married? Especially at my age (47)? Is it just so we can say we're married and have some financial benefits that go along with that? But then we are totally entwined...financially and otherwise. And things get complicated....now I'm thinking why can't we just have a committed relationship without getting married? I don't know...I always thought I'd like to get married someday, but now I'm just not sure what the benefit is. I'm not even sure the kids need a "dad" so much as a father figure...H is great with them and a wonderful role model...isn't that really what we all want? Is that enough? Chime in at any time....