Update on The Man Situation

Okay, I'm trying not to read too much into this. I still have no idea whether this guy is interested in me or not. We email each other regularly, and now talk on the phone usually several times a week. I really enjoy talking with him. The conversation seems to flow pretty easily. We have really gotten away from talking about the horrible event over the summer, so that's good. Of course, it still comes up once in awhile, but for the most part we are able to find plenty of other things to talk about.

DC is halfway between us so we are meeting there next month. He kept saying that I was welcome to come visit him in NC and I kept saying he was welcome to visit me in PA. He said he would show me around Rome if I wanted to visit with him, and I invited him to meet us in Hawaii for Thanksgiving (I have a conference there). But everything seemed too far away distance wise, or too expensive right now. So, I suggested we meet halfway. We both have friends in DC that we will stay with. I'll have the kids with me. He may have his daughter with him, as well. The weekend of Oct. 22nd was the soonest time I could stay at my friend's house, so that is when we will meet there. I wish it was sooner so I could figure this thing out! The not-knowing is really killing me!

Look What We Did!

We had a VERY busy weekend....yesterday was go, go, go right until the kids went to bed. They slept really well! Saturday, I took them to my University for an event the students were having - a vertical wind tunnel. It sounded REALLY cool...you could experience the feel of skydiving without jumping out of a plane. So, off we went...the process took way longer than I thought, so we ended up being late for a birthday party in the afternoon, but it was SO worth it. It is essentially a very powerful fan that allows you to fly above it.Here we are suited up in our flying outfits...yes, I am Superwoman!



E had a blast! e had fun, too, but was too scared to fly, so E got to go twice...lucky him. Since he was so light, they were flipping him around upside down and right side up...He loved it, as you can see!

Sunday was the first day of Sunday school, another birthday party, and swimming lessons....both of my children only made it through half their lessons. E just doesn't want to do it once he gets there...I think he's a little bored...or maybe it's because the water is so cold. e is just cold. We'll try again next week, but I don't see the water getting any warmer....that is a big deterrent....not sure what to do about that.

Both Saturday and Sunday night one of the little girls who lives up the street came over. She's pretty much like clockwork...right around dinner time, she shows up. Her parents are divorced and she is with her father on the weekends. I don't think he really knows what to do with her, so she always ends up at my house. I often end up feeding her and just watching her for the evening and often for the day, if we are at home. I guess I'm glad she has a positive influence with me to help her get through her time with her dad, but I'm also a little annoyed that they are always playing at my house. I think he's an okay guy...just doesn't know what to do with a kind of immature 7 year old.

Coming Out of The Fog

e found a giant moth

We rented a pontoon a few times while in WV. E LOVED going out on the tube!We visited Coopers' Rock in WV. It is quite a view!

Well, I'm finally starting to come out of the fog of the horror that happened last month. I think there are just some things that happen in your life that scar you for the rest of your life. This is one of those things. I try not to think about the terror that my friend went through during her last moments...when she awoke, with her neck slit, saw that her own son had killed her and fought for her life. I am trying to focus on all the positive experiences we had together. I'm sure, in time, those are the memories that will fill my thoughts about her.

The kids at the castle

So, the day after I found out about her death, we had scheduled to go camping at the family camp we go to for Mother's Day weekend. We LOVE this place. It was just the vacation I needed. No tv, no phones, no cell phone service, nothing but nature...except when I drove to the top of the mountain to check my messages and check on my friend's mom. All our meals are cooked for us, and in the morning, the kids go to group time...kind of like their camp time, during which they went on hikes, went swimming, built gnome homes (for all the gnomes living in the woods, of course), visited the animals in the nature center, went on pony rides, or whatever else the counselors could think of to keep them busy.

e and E playing in the woods

E getting a sailing lesson

e swimming in the lake

After their group time, they return to the cafeteria for camp songs, where I join them. We have lunch together, then there are any number of planned activities we can participate in. But, while they were in camp, I took sailing lessons, went on hikes, went canoeing, got a massage, and went on the zip line. The kids wanted to see me go on the zip line, so I did it a second time later in the week....kind of terrifying and fun at the same time!

E and e playing by the lake

And, e with the stinky fish they found!

We decorated cupcakes one afternoon

And helped paint a mural another day...

The afternoons we spent doing artwork, hiking, boating, whatever. A couple evenings they had kids night out, so I had more free time to relax. There is always lots of singing camp songs and acting crazy. A great way to bond with the family. Love, love, love this place. We will make it a tradition. I never have to worry about the kids, since everyone is watching out for everyone. The second to last day there, I spent the afternoon kayaking and sailing while E went sailing with someone else and e played on the beach with a friend. SO relaxing.

The 40 foot climb to do the zip line and me going across!

After being away for over a month, though, it was nice to get home. Of course, I had to leave a few days later to go to my friend's funeral, which was horrible, as you might imagine. The priest talked a lot about forgiveness...I know this was my friend's mom's doing, but I just don't know if I can forgive this kid. It was a heinous, violent, cold-blooded act. I just don't know.

There are some good things that have come out of this...I've really been trying to make lemonade out of the whole situation. My friend and I did a lot of work and research together. She is the reason I spent so much time in Italy and was to spend most, if not all, of my summers there in the future. So, I have taken over that part of the company to continue the college trips and executive retreats there. It will be a lot of work, but I think it will be worth it. I'll keep you updated!

Last but not least...I'm hesitant to even say anything to jinx it. BUT, over the past couple years or so, my friend had been after me to meet a guy that she used to date. She was forever trying to fix me up...usually with strangers that looked attractive, but always trying to fix me up, nonetheless. While we were in WV, she says to me, "I've got the perfect man for you!" She then proceeds to show me a picture of some random muscle bound man wearing a speedo on the beach in Italy. He did look good! We had no idea who he was, but she was convinced she could find out for me.

There were a couple of her ex's there that I sat with at the funeral. One, I thought was coming on to me, but he kind of gave me the creeps...not sure why...nice guy, just a little too consoling. The other one, however....the one that she has been after me to meet for the past couple years was very nice. We had dinner together after the visitation the night before the funeral. His sister joined us as did another friend of mine. We sat together at the funeral and at the luncheon following. He's been emailing me almost daily since. Not in an overbearing way, but a very natural way. SO, we'll see what happens. He is a retired news producer, now writer. He's published two books and is working on his third. I think one of the first is being made into a movie, but I haven't gotten the details. Since he is a writer, his emails are very visual and almost poetic in their imagery. If nothing else, I'm enjoying his friendship. He lives in NC, so I'm not sure how feasible a long distance relationship is...on the other had, where there is a will, there is a way....I'll let you know how it goes!

Crazy Turned Nightmare

Just a brief update to bring you up to speed on everything. So, after all the craziness of West Virginia, it all turned into a nightmare a week ago last Friday. About 8:15 in the morning I got a call from my friend's mom telling me that she had been killed while traveling in India. She went from Sri Lanka to India to do some touring with her 15 year old son. Her mom proceeded to tell me that she was stabbed to death in her hotel room and that her son was being held as a suspect. It's all just beyond comprehension. I couldn't believe it and felt really bad for her son...to find out that his mom had been killed and then to be held as a suspect. How terrible! Well, it gets even worse. As the details started to spill out, it is looking like he really did do it.

My friend sent me a text around 12:30 am that morning and then called her mother (who was with me). I'm guessing she went to bed just after that conversation. Later, during the night, her son allegedly cut her throat, dragged her body to the beach nearby, and then tried to board a plane to Delhi.

I leave tomorrow for the funeral. I'm just devastated. She was one of my closest friends and I just can't get my head around how a son can feel so much violence towards his mother. She was such a good person. I thought he was, too. He had so much going for him...spoke Italian fluently, German fairly well, too, well traveled, studied in Italy usually about half the year. I took him to Cyprus and Egypt with us last summer and he has watched my kids on several occasions. I will never get it. I guess you never really know people. It turns out that since he is a minor, it's very rare for minors to be tried as adults in India, so the most he will get is probably three years. Insane. I will really miss her.

Going Crazy....REALLY Crazy

Well, this summer has really taken off and we have been full of travels. Around the end of June we drove 3 1/2 hours to upstate NY to see my aunt and some cousins who I haven't seen in about five years. The aunt is now 92 (I think) and has been the picture of health her whole life, until she broke a hip last year. As you know, at that point, you just never know how much longer they will last, so I thought a trip was in order. I'll post some pictures from that trip soon, but it was nice to see the house where my mother grew up and visit with some cousins.

Then we drove another five hours to CT to visit my siblings. That was a lot of fun. We got there during a heat wave and spent a couple days on my brother's boat. Thank goodness for that because it was REALLY hot and about ten degrees cooler on the water. The kids had a blast. We stayed at my sister's house and for some reason, E kept peeing in the bed! I think my sister was a little put off by that...and that fact that the kids were in and out of the house a lot. She's not used to having little ones around any more!

From CT we went to RI to visit with my other sister and took a day trip to visit with another 96 year old aunt. I'm sure the kids were just loving visiting all these old people! But, ya gotta do it. Then back to CT for a few days visiting friends and going to museums before making the 5 hour trip back home. On the way, we stopped at the Crayola factory and met up with one of e's half siblings. It was really nice to meet them and the girls look quite a bit alike.

The day after we got home, I had to get back to work. I run a week-long entrepreneurship camp for high school students every summer and that was the week. Once that was over, I had a few days to get things in order, then we were off to WV so I could do some work there...

So, this is where the craziness sets in. Originally, a friend of mine who I have been working with for about six years, asked if I would come out to WV to help her run a couple camps. She said that a girl from Italy (who we met last year) was coming to the US for the summer and that she would stay with us for a couple weeks. Great. I was really looking forward to seeing her and having her as our guest. The Italian girl was supposed to come the week of my camp. In fact, I planned to have my camp that specific week because it overlapped with a basketball camp I knew she would want to attend. Then I was hoping to have a little travel time, show her the area and go to NYC for a day.

So, I paid for E to go to camp until the end of July and planned to go to WV to help the first two weeks of August and then go to a family camp close to where we were staying in WV for the third week. My friend said there would be plenty of help to watch the kids while I was working those two weeks and they would be kept busy.

At the last minute, she calls and asks if we can get here early...the 15th. I say the best I can do is the 21st. Okay, I've paid for E to be in camp that last ten days, but if I'm getting free care and accommodations, I'm willing to eat it. Btw, I payfor e's daycare whether I'm there or not. We get here and find out we can't get into the building for two more days. We are staying in an old monastery next to a vacant castle. I thought the kids would be able to go exploring in the castle, hiking on the grounds (there are trails in the woods behind us, but they have all grown in over the years), and spend time swimming at the lake (get here and find out there are no beaches). The reality was that, when we got here (after spending two nights in a hotel - which my friend did pay for), there are no trails, no a/c, it's hotter than hell for the first week or so, we can't easily swim in the lake, the hiking trails are grown over, there is nothing to do in the area, and oh yeah, she wants me to send the kids to camp for the two weeks (which are now a week earlier than anticipated - this appears to be on my dime) while I'm working....

Okay, I'm trying to go with the flow, so I work the two camps (which were run so badly it was embarrassing), but then I have a week and a half before I can get into the family camp where I have a reservation...and there is NOTHING to do...no internet (I'm tethering my blackberry), no tv, no kids activities in the area. No washing machine, either...I feel like I spend two hours a day just washing clothes...in the sink....oh, but there were the couple of times that E peed in his bed (which is a mattress on the floor), so I had to wash the sheets and comforter....but, of course, they don't fit in the sink so I had to find an outside faucet and wash them on the ground. Are you getting the picture?

One especially wonderful day was when my friend left me to run the high school camp on my own for a couple days (oh, and did I mention she's only been here for less than half the time and right now she's in Sri Lanka for another week and a half?). I took them to the local town along with another professor who is here visiting from the Czech Republic. I was not feeling well that day, but did the work anyway (I am woman, hear me roar, right?). SO, I'm stuck here with a half dozen teenagers (whom I am constantly cleaning up after! I felt like I was following ten Pigpens), one of whom is ADD and repeats EVERYTHING 20 times. She had the heart of gold, but had to tell me things over and over and over again...constantly...then I'm stuck with the Czech guy, nice guy but wants to tell me all about himself and the fall of communism in the Czech Republic. Half the time I can't understand what he's saying and the rest of the time, I just don't understand (or care about) the topic...oh, and did I mention that my stomach hurt so bad that I felt like I was having labor pains????? Lord get me out of here...

So, here I am, still stuck in WV. My family camp reservation isn't until the 15th. I could stay here another week and get some work done, but I'm going so crazy that I'm contemplating going home (driving five hours) for a week and then driving back this way to go to the camp next week. I have pleaded with the camp to find a way for me to switch weeks and they are seeing what they can do. But either way, I'm screwed. If I go back this weekend, I have to drive about five hours each way (yes, I would come back for the camp - the kids and I were really looking forward to it and it will be relaxing - it's the same place we go for mother's day weekend). When I get back home, I can no longer get E into camp there, so he would be bored spending the week with me. I'm pretty sure I can get e back into daycare, but E is stuck. If I am successful at moving the camp up one week, I still won't be able to get E into camp when we return. So, there's the big question. Do I stay here and be miserable for one more week, but the kids will be able to go to camp here, or do I put all of us through the long drive back and forth, put e back in daycare and keep E with me during the week? Ugh. I just can't win.

So, that's why I've been offline for awhile. I'll post some pictures when I get back to my own computer at my office....I am working on my netbook which has no connections for that.

Trip to the Harbor and a Circus

E and e inside the Baltimore Aquarium

I decided to take the kids for a field trip last week. So Friday, we drove to the Baltimore harbor, stayed in a hotel overnight and went to the Aquarium the next day. It's about a 2 1/2 drive to get there. Luckily, we ran into very little traffic and it really did take us just about that time. The hotel we stayed in was nice, but since we all sleep in one bed (they still have to be attached to me at night!), it was a little difficult for me to sleep. They were so excited to stay in a hotel and go swimming there.
The next morning we got up and went to the Aquarium. Luckily, I had bought our tickets online so we didn't have to deal with a lot of lines or delays getting in. The Aquarium is very cool and very big! And, I have to admit, my kids were not the most cooperative! I get very paranoid when we are in big places and have to keep yelling at them to stay close so I can see them. Of course, E always likes to run ahead and now e often joins him. I always say that wherever we go, everyone knows my children's names because I'm constantly telling them to stay close! Other than that, they were really great.
While there, I was going to try to meet up with my best friend from high school. We've gone our separate ways, but have stayed in touch over the years. It's been about 10 years since I've seen her, so I sent her an email asking if she and her family wanted to meet us after we finished at the aquarium. She was really excited about it. We spoke Saturday morning and made a plan to meet around 3:00. Then she called around 11:00 and said that it was 90+ degrees outside and getting hotter. Her husband and son had just come from a swim meet and were spent and they didn't want to go out walking around the harbor in this heat. Okay. Is it just me, or is that the wimpiest thing you ever heard? You don't want to go out and meet up with an old friend because it's too hot outside? Come on!

Okay, whatever. I had also contacted a friend of mine from college. I think it's been about 20 years since I've seen him but we've also stayed in touch. He's done the whole Bohemian Save The World thing over the years with Peace Corps and other organizations and has lived in different places around the world. He met up with us and we had a great time. We caught up on old friends that we had and what life is like for each of us now. He's just a great guy (and I know you're wondering...he's gay, so no opportunities there!).

E and e played in a fountain while there (e went European with her shirt off since I didn't bring their bathing suits!). At one point, E came over to talk with us and my friend asked what was in his hair...of course it was a booger that had found its way there after playing in the water. So, I wiped it off. A few minutes later, E comes back and talks with us and proceeds to pee on the pavement...okay, well, water does that. So I told my friend that before long we'll find a way to throw up on him, too...maybe even do a number two! He thought that was funny, but a few minutes later, E had tried to drink the water from the fountain, choked on it, and came running over with a little vomit coming out of his mouth. I guess I have to be careful what I say! I got him cleaned up and he was back to playing in no time. Luckily, there was no poop involved....this time.
Last night the circus was in town. This must be another small-town thing, because I had never seen a circus like this before I moved here. It was basically a one-ring circus with the same half dozen people doing different parts of the show. They were actually quite talented! After every couple of acts they would try to sell you something. It was really entertaining to listen to their shpiels! The kids had a great time, though. I don't think it matters to them that it's not Barnum and Bailey!

The Good Part About Living in a Small Town

Luminaries along the track

While I always say that this town has drawbacks and strangeness (see earlier post about the strange things about living here http://theeshaveit.blogspot.com/2009/08/things-i-see-in-central-pennsylvania.html), there are a lot of wonderful things about this area. One thing is that when something bad happens, the area really pulls together. Recently, a couple local high school students were in a bad car accident on their way back from their prom. One is still in a coma, the other will be paralyzed from the waist down. A huge tragedy for both families. The local towns continue to put signs up offering strength to the families and kids, and do fundraisers to help the families with their bills. The newspaper posts updates on the kids' progress regularly. You just don't see that in a big city.

Luminaries in the football stands

We also band together to support cancer (its end, of course, not supporting its' existence!). Every year, there are several Relay For Life teams that do various events to raise money. The largest event is held at my university. For 36 hours people walk around the track, buy luminaries in honor or in memory of someone with cancer, or do something else to raise money (raffles, etc). The luminaries are put all along the track and it is really quite touching to see them all lit up. People camp out over night and there is constant entertainment - from local bands, to karaoke, to contests, etc. The kids and I entered a frozen t-shirt contest. I had never heard of this, but they have a bunch of t-shirts that they have folded, soaked, and then frozen. The goal is to be the first team to put on the t-shirt. I have to say that it is much more difficult than it sounds! It would also be a great game for a kids party.

Walking the track

Also, here is a video of E and e at a recent picnic. It's amazing how busy and silly two kids can be with a little grass and water. First, they collected the grass and laid it evenly around the faucet, then they built a moat, then a mountain. They were quite a mess by the time they were done! (sorry about the glitch -- I had to shoo away a bee!)

E and e getting silly