Dating and Co-Sleeping

Thanks for all the great input on the dating and co-sleeping. When P visited this past weekend, I did my usual thing of laying down with them until they fell asleep, then I went into my room with P and locked the door. I left the kids with the understanding that if the door is closed, they cannot come in. They did great. But I was still getting a little bit of a hard time from P...

So, the dating...first of all, P arrived last Thursday and did not say how long we was going to stay...I just think that needs to be defined ahead of time. I didn't have anything planned for us for the weekend, except a party at a neighbor's house New Year's eve. The rest of the weekend, I was just going to play it by ear and enjoy some time at home with the kids and P. So, Friday morning we get up, I make a cake, I make another dessert, I make a cheese ball for the party, I make dinner, I empty the dishwasher, clean the dishes, clean up the kitchen, pick things up around the house, then I go outside to put the jumpy inflatable thing up for the kids to burn off some energy (it's big and heavy, but I often do it by myself), stack the wood that had blown over in a storm earlier in the week, put the jumpy thing away (the girl next door helped me put it away) and generally just keep moving, moving, moving, getting things done. What did P do? He sat on the couch the whole day. Never once asked if he could help...Okay, I didn't ask him to help, either, but I have also made it fairly clear to him that I really DON'T ask for help...that doesn't mean he shouldn't offer! The next day was a lot of the same...when it came to dinner, I cooked up something nice, set the table, got everything on it, etc. When we were done, I cleared the table, did the dishes and cleaned up the kitchen. What did he do? Well he stood next to me and offered to put the dishes in the dishwasher...I have to say, it's just as easy for me to put the dishes inside the dishwasher as it is for me to hand them to him right next to me. I guess the point is that he tried to help...I guess.

He also watches black and white movies all the time. Sorry, but I like to watch something from the 21st century sometimes! And for some reason, he only wanted to watch things that were in HD. He didn't even want to search for things that weren't in HD. When I had control of the remote, I said that I pay for ALL the channels and I want to see what is on all of them. After watching The Twilight Zone for about three hours (his choice. I, of course, was doing other things), I asked if it was okay if we watched something else. I put it on a medical show on TLC or Discovery that I thought was interesting. He said "do you really want to watch that? That's geek of the week stuff!" Okay, look who's talking about geek of the week, Mr. I only watch black and white or HD! I didn't say anything about what he was watching, but now all of a sudden he's criticizing what I want to watch, how I raise my children (he made a few comments here and there about the fact that I let E try some champagne on New Year's and that they don't go to sleep on their own...other things, too), what my house looks like, etc.

I also felt like he complained a lot. I think I've mentioned before about how he's always talking about the news business, but he's always complaining about how no one can do the news well, what is wrong with every program on tv, and of course, how everything else in the world is so ridiculously out to get everyone. Of course, he did everything perfectly when he was in the business. GET OVER IT! You are RETIRED! Things change! You are NOT the expert anymore! And, they must be doing something right because they are making a lot of money at it and people are watching it. Waaah, waaah, waaah, waaah, waaah! Oh, and did I mention that during the Vietnam war, he was stationed in Germany for awhile...never fought, just did stuff in Germany...not sure what. He told me once that he could always tell who the Vietnam Vets were within the first five minutes of speaking to them...well, that's because HE always brings it up within the first five minutes of speaking to someone! And then uses it as an excuse for things! Okay, I am all for being positive about our vets. I think they should be proud of what they did and we should support them. BUT, he was in the Army over 40 YEARS ago! That doesn't make him any better than anyone else. I think he is living WAY too much in the past...

And the cigar smoking! YUCK! I said something to him about it over the phone, that he can't kiss me after smoking unless he's had a mint or something. Okay, so he addressed that, I think, but HE still smells! It's all over his clothes, and in his skin. I just really couldn't stand it!

Okay, I'm done ranting and venting....I guess this relationship isn't going to work, eh? Add to that the fact that E woke up this morning, got into bed with me (P left yesterday) and said that he had had a nightmare that he and I were separated for a few days and couldn't find each other. We finally found each other, but it was very scary. I'd be scared, too! That's a pretty strong signal, if you ask me.

I think it's time to have a conversation with P...maybe just say that I think the two of us are in different stages of our lives and they are too different. Nice guy, just not for me. Oh well. It was nice while it lasted!