Random Thoughts About Discipline

Does anyone else think that sometimes they are too hard on their kids? Or too soft? Sometimes I think I'm too hard on them, other times, not hard enough. Okay, my house is always a mess, so I don't think I'm hard enough on them to clean up after themselves (thank goodness for the cleaning women!). On some things, though, or sometimes, I think I'm too hard. I often wonder if it's just the mood I happen to be in, or is it because I have to be hard sometimes since I don't have another authority figure to fall back on.

For instance, last night when I was trying to get the kids to go to bed, they were running around being crazy...like kids. I'm so thankful that they get along so well and love to play with each other, but I have a low tolerance for the multitude of delays that occur at bedtime. I'm hungry is always a big one, I have to brush my teeth (for the fourth time), I have to get this, I have to get that, there's always something else that keeps us up for another hour. I always lay down with them in E's room to read at least one chapter of the book we are reading. Right now, we are reading Lost On The Moon. It's an old book, probably written in the 40's or earlier, but as adventurous as 20,000 Leagues Under The Sea (which is coming up on our reading list - can you tell I'm loving the free books I get on my Kindle?).

I asked if they were ready for me to start the chapter and they said yes. They were both laying down ready to listen. Then E had to go to the bathroom - for the third time in fifteen minutes. Another delay. e, of course, has to go with him. I continue to read, then they start fooling around. Since they are not listening to the book, I asked e to turn off the light (her job every night since she can now reach it). E freaks out and says he will listen now. He continued to cry about hearing more from the book and that he will now listen. Sometimes, I think I should budge on things, but most of the time, I know I should stick to my guns. I think E was really over-tired at this point, because he just got more and more upset - to the point where I had to tell him that we were going to leave the room to give him some time for time-out. Five minutes later, he was calm and ready to listen to me tell him to go to sleep. I told him that if he was good, I would read the rest of the chapter AND the next chapter the next night. That seemed to suffice.

I feel bad when I hold some things back as discipline, when I know they are good for them...reading, for instance....Does anyone else think that disciplining our kids is one of the more difficult parts of parenting? It's so hard to know whether you are doing it right, being too hard, or being too soft. I suppose I should just look at how my kids are turning out to get the answer to that question. They are well behaved...most of the time. But, that's just part of being a kid. If they were well behaved ALL the time, I guess I would think that something is wrong...like they are not having enough fun.

Isn't fun the goal for a kid? Isn't it really the goal in LIFE? In the classes that I teach, I try to make them as fun as possible. Learning should be fun, too...I often see some of the other professors poo-pooing the students for being childish in class. I just say to myself - get over it! They are just having fun! For goodness sake, life doesn't always have to be that serious! Okay, that's another story altogether....

Back to the kids and disciplining. I guess I do have my pet peeves...getting to bed is one of them. I don't think I would care so much if I didn't have to lay down with them...that's my fault for making them dependent on me in order to fall asleep. At the same time, I think it's really great bonding time with them. We talk, we cuddle, we read. Once they fall asleep, I go into my room. When I was little, my mom would just put me in my room, say goodnight, and go downstairs to get work done. Of course, there were four of us, so that makes it more difficult to lay down with all four at once. Anyway, while I have a low tolerance for delays at bedtime, I really enjoy my time with them at night.

Okay, that's the end of my discipline post...Maybe I've answered my own questions by now.