The E's Have It...

Confusion

2012-01-19T16:26:00.003-05:00

Well, first of all, maybe I should just relinquish to the fact that I may only get around to posting about once a month. I'll do my best to do at least that! The kids are getting really big and are just a load of fun. I took them skiing last weekend and they had a blast. E is really starting to get to know his snowboard and e is great on her skis. They both take the chairlift to the top of the hill and E comes down with several tumbles while e just makes a b-line straight down doing the snowplow. She's such a peanut, she looks like a little pink blob going down the hill in her snowsuit among all the adult skiers.

Chrismakkah was a lot of fun. E has figured out that there is no Santa (or tooth fairy for that matter) and tells e on a regular basis. Fortunately, she doesn't believe him. e lost her first tooth last week! We were in her room and E came up and started giving her a hard time (a typical brother - he has made it his lifelong mission to constantly annoy her). She was trying to push him away and he ended up giving her a whack in the mouth...knocked the tooth right out (it was already VERY loose). She didn't even realize she lost it until I told her. Fortunately, I had printed out the letter from the tooth fairy that day and brought it home! Phew! But then we couldn't find the tooth! How could I give her a letter from the tooth fairy thanking her for her tooth if there was no tooth!? We could tell her that the tooth fairy found it, but then what if she finds it later? This was a problem! Fortunately, we found the tooth later that evening. Somehow it had fallen down her pants! When she went potty, it fell onto the floor. Another problem averted.

Another monumental event that has happened is that E is finally sleeping in his room in his own bed by himself! All this time, the three of us would lay down on the floor in his room and when the two of them would fall asleep, I'd go to my room. I know, it's a lot of work...but I actually enjoyed the snuggle time with both of them. Last week E said he wanted to sleep in his room by himself and he's been doing it ever since. This is huge! Now e has also been sleeping in HER own bed! I still sleep in the other bed in her room until she falls asleep, but we are finally making great progress in this area. Yay!

Okay, so what am I confused about? In an earlier post I talked about my relationship with the guy I've been seeing since last March. I talked about how we broke up because he said he didn't ever want to get married and then we got back together because I said that we could still have a relationship. Well, I keep rethinking this...Lately, I've been feeling like I have a good friend in him with benefits. He comes over about twice a week and we hang out. He hasn't asked me to go out (just the two of us) in a long time. He also has made no attempt to introduce me to his family. I did meet his daughter but he also has a brother who comes to the area fairly often and a sister who visited just last month. I just think it's kind of strange. I haven't said anything to him, but neither has he.

For Christmas, he gave me some clay (he knows I love to sculpt) and some sculpting tools, a can of fix-a-flat, and a lighter for the grill (I have a million of them). Nothing very personal. Before Christmas he did ask me what I wanted and I told him that I just wanted him to put my windows in. Earlier in the year, I got some beautiful stained glass windows that used to belong to my parents and he has been saying for months that he would put them in and that he was going to work on them over the holidays. I didn't want to sound too selfish, so I just told him that was enough. Okay, don't men know that what we say we want and what we really want are two different things???? He was married for 20 years, I think he must have figured that out. So, anyway, I got what I wanted. He put the windows up, but hasn't finished the finishing part yet. I guess I shouldn't complain. He also gave the kids some coloring markers and some money for them to go shopping with.

So, I guess what I'm trying to say is that I'm confused about where this is going....about where I want it to go. I thought it might be okay if he never wanted to get married...I still might be okay with that. But I don't think I want someone who is only going to be at my house maybe two nights a week for dinner and hanging out and then leaving when I put the kids to bed. That's not the relationship I'm looking for. I want someone who is going to be around a little more and someone who can afford to do more things with us like join us in our travels (he doesn't make very much money). I really like this guy and I like spending time with him. I like our intimate moments, too, but I'm feeling like I want more than he will probably ever be able to give. And I don't know what to do. Is it okay to just open myself up again to dating others without discussing it with him? Is that cheating? Am I asking too much? I don't want to lose what we have. If I met someone I wanted to get serious with, I would certainly tell him. I'm confused. So there you have it. I'm open to suggestions.

100 Things...

2011-12-05T12:10:00.007-05:00

I recently stumbled upon a blog called 100 Things (http://100things.com.au/). I love it. This guy made a list of 100 things he'd like to do during his lifetime and is spending time checking off each one. One of my big mantras in life is to never look back and say "I should have..." Life is for living and we need to make decisions every day that should be the best decisions we can make. Why should we ever look back and say "I wish I had..." Why not just go ahead and do it? We weigh our actions all the time. There is no reason not to make the right decision at the time. Sure, sometimes hindsight is 20/20, but still - we do what we can and we should be proud of the decisions we make.

Anyway, we all have our bucket list...some of the things we've already checked off, some of the things may be slightly unrealistic, others may linger on the list a little longer than we like. I challenge you to make your list of 100 things...Or even just start with 25...here's my first 25...some I've already checked off...they are in no particular order but I'm sticking to those that are fairly realistic.

1. Have more than one child. Check.
2-8. See the 7 natural wonders of the world. According to thesevennaturalwonders.org, these are: the
2. The aurora borealis
3. The Grand Canyon. Check.
4. Paricutin
5. Victoria Falls. Check.
6. Mount Everest.
7. Great Barrier Reef.
8. Harbor of Rio de Janeiro
9-15. See the 7 man-made wonders of the world. These are:
9. The Great Wall of China.
10. Petra in Jordan
11. Christ the Redeemer in Brazil.
12. Machu Picchu in Peru.
13. Chichen Itza in Mexico.
14. The colosseum in Italy.
15. The Taj Mahal in India.
15.5. The Pyramds in Giza. Check. (the Pyramids were kept as an honorary member according to Wikipedia).
16. See the monarch butterfly migration in Mexico
17. Go on Safari. Check.
18. Live with a tribe.
19. Try hang gliding or para-gliding
20. Go scuba diving. Check.
21. Become PADI certified.
22. Learn to play an instrument.
23. Go to Marrakesh. Check.
24. Go to Timbuktu.
25. Go cage diving with sharks.
26. Swim with a whale shark
27. See crab migration on Christmas Island.
28. Ride a camel in the dessert...while I've already done this, I'm not checking it off...I'd like to do a more substantial ride!
29. Get a pilot's license. Check.
30. Get a motorcycle license. Check.
31. Visit every continent.
32. Swim in biolumenescent water.
33. Experience zero gravity.
34. Meet Richard Branson - he's my idol.

Okay, so there is my first 34...I'm sure I could come up with more, but this should do for now! What's your top 100 (or 25)?

Our Latest Trip

2011-11-30T17:02:00.004-05:00

We just returned from the Maldives...a group of islands located just southwest of India in the Indian Ocean. It was spectacular! I had a conference there, so I took the kids for about a week. Our hotel was on a small island with nothing else on it...it took about 20 minutes to walk around the entire island. No cars, just sand everywhere. The water was as clear as it could be and the sand just melted under our feet.

We went snorkeling, I went scuba diving - something I've always wanted to do. Everything I read said that this was the best place in the world for scuba diving. Of course, now that I've tried it, everywhere else will pale in comparison! I took a short lesson and was able to go down about 30 meters. It was amazing - hundreds of fish in as many different colors. The anemones were full of bright colors, as well, and we managed to spot a black tip reef shark (harmless - this one was about four feet long, I'd say) and an eagle ray (I'd guess it had about a four foot wingspan).

The kids had the time of their lives playing on the beach and at the pool. It was a REALLY long trip to get there (about 30 hours travel time there and about 36 on the way back!), but the kids did great and really enjoyed themselves. Here are some pix!

Sticks and Stones (warning - a lot of detail!)

2011-11-15T08:48:00.004-05:00

may break my bones....and, damn do they hurt! Stones of the internal kind and sticks of the needle kind! Last Wednesday I started to have some abdominal pain...I thought it was just lunch taking awhile to digest or something...well, it just got worse. By evening, I was doubled over in pain. I took some heavy duty prescription pain medication I had lying around and it did almost nothing. I knew I was having a gall bladder attack and, in the past, when I've spoken to the doctor about these, there's nothing they can really do about them. They tell me that they are just going to get more frequent and worse until I finally have to get my gall bladder taken out. Well, I finally was able to get to sleep around 4 am.

The next day I was still in pain, so I called the doctor to see how long this should last. I got scheduled for an ultrasound the next day and got some blood tests to make sure it hadn't affected my pancreas or liver. Fortunately, the blood tests came out fine. Thursday night I was in agony. Way worse than the night before. Five doses of oxycodone brought the pain level down to about an 8 and I was afraid to take anymore. Finally got to sleep again around 4 am. The ultrasound showed stones and sludge but no blockages. Also a swelled gall bladder and a distended tube coming out of the kidney.

By Sunday, I was still in pain so decided to go to the ER. They took some more tests and pretty much said that I just needed to wait for the swelling in my gall bladder to go down and that they really didn't know what the problem was. Apparently, when it comes to abdominal pain, they can diagnose only about half the time. To come to this conclusion, they put an iv in and took more blood. I'm a REALLY tough stick...small veins are something I definitely inherited from my mother. The iv lady was able to get in the first try but the blood lady took two and had to go in through my hand. The worst blood draw I've ever had since she was moving that damn needle all over the place. ouch.

Then the pain medication got me constipated. So, thinking that at least some of the pain might now be related to constipation, I stopped the pain meds yesterday and started loading up on laxatives. I can't tell you how much fun I'm having. Still in some pain but at least I can poop now.

SNOW!

2011-10-31T11:09:00.002-04:00

This past weekend we went to RI for my niece's bat mitzvah. H even came along. Since he is not Jewish and had not met any of my family, this was really trial by fire for him! My sister really went all out on the bat mitzvah planning. Everything was perfect and beautiful for the 100 or so guests. The luncheon and party afterwards was a lot of fun, complete with a DJ, a kid handler (to make sure all those 13 year olds had the time of their lives) and lots of loud partying and dancing. H got to meet my siblings and several cousins. H was such a sport. Even though I don't think he was feeling great (he had a terrible cold), he was helpful and patient with all the goings on. I think this one is a keeper.

The bat mitzvah was on Saturday. By the time we got there, it had started to rain a little. By mid- afternoon, the snow started and the nor' easter started heading in. The timing was good - the party was already starting to break up anyway - so we headed back to CT to stay at my sister's house before we were to leave to come back home the following morning. By the time we got to my sister's house, the snow was in full force and there was already several inches on the ground.

We made it up the hill to her house. At the end of the cul-de-sac, my sister had just pulled in as well and ran out to tell us to go to a hotel because it was too dangerous. Trees had started to fall all over the place. She didn't have any power. As we sat in the car and listened, about every minute we would hear craaaack, craaaaack....trees and branches breaking. Some were already resting on power lines. It was REALLY spooky. The kids got very scared and e even started to cry a little.

H, the trooper that he is, ran inside the house and got all our stuff (thank goodness because we would have had a very difficult time getting it the next day!) and we went and stayed at my brother's house instead. Even though he lives less than a mile away, he did have power. We all camped out there for the night. He lost his power, too, around 2 am but since he has gas on his stove, we were all able to have a nice breakfast. Throughout the night, the snow got heavier and the situation worsened. I've never seen anything like it. By morning, there was about a foot of snow and hundreds of trees and branches down. Across the street, one large branch was straddling a power line...it was pulled taut, but had not snapped yet. Apparently, the cul-de-sac where my sister lives was full of trees and branches. If we had stayed, I'm sure our car would have been hit. H went out to help clean up the driveway and cars so we could get out and E and e, of course, went out to play in the snow.

We finally got on the road around 10:30 am. As we drove out, we went down several streets that we could just barely get through, with all the trees and branches down. We saw a few power lines down and even ran over a couple (dead, of course). It was unbelievable. Every single yard was full of large branches and trees. We didn't see any houses that were hit, but did see one car that got a little crushed. As we drove home, it was well over an hour before we could find an exit where the restaurants had power. The highway crews must have been out in full force all night because there were lots of trees on the side of the highway - many of which had been cut to make travel safe.

All in all, a very interesting weekend!

Pets

2011-10-17T10:22:00.006-04:00

The baby bunnies in their nest

So, last month we found some baby bunnies in our yard. The mom had built the nest just a few feet from our driveway, so when I saw all the dead grass all over and didn't remember the patch being there before, I moved it aside to reveal five, very cute, baby bunnies. At the time, I'm guessing they were just 3-5 days old. I did a lot of reading about them and learned that you can, in fact, handle them and the mother will still come back. She only comes back about once a night to feed them and leaves them alone the rest of the time so she doesn't attract attention to them. So, the kids had a great time visiting with the bunnies every day. And, boy, were they cute.

Holding the baby bunnies

Then the rains came. The nest got flooded out. I came out to find some of them sitting in a cold puddle in the nest, not knowing where to go. Everything I read online said that the nest could be moved to about ten feet away and the mom would still find it. So, we moved the nest up the hill a little bit, out of where the water was gathering. I also put a box over the hole to help keep them dry since all the grass that was covering them was now wet and/or gone. The mom apparently was coming back and the babies were doing fine. Their eyes all opened and they were getting lots of fur and starting to jump around. Then two died with all the rain....Very sad to see them out there, but we got rain and cool weather for about a week and they just couldn't make it. I had also read that only about 10% of the wild bunnies survive because there is so much going against them. Another one died a couple days later and another one ran away (at least that's what I told the kids...it was very active and I'm guessing it just attracted attention to itself). The kids had been pleading and pleading to keep them, so when it came down the the last one, we took it in. Thumper did well for a few days, but then died - unfortunately while under the care of a girl next door (and her party pals - I'm hoping we didn't create any psychological scars!) while we were away....

Thumper in the fire engine

After that ordeal, and seeing how well the kids handled the bunnies and the whole lifespan thing, I figured they were ready for a pet. After doing a ton of research, I decided to get E a couple dwarf hamsters for his birthday. I don't have any pictures of them yet, but they really are fun to watch and are very cute. I told him that we needed to figure out a way to tell them apart. He put them next to each other and said that one was fat and one was skinny. So, guess what he decided to name them? Fatty and Skinny. I know, very creative. He is a really happy camper with them.

His birthday party was a huge success. I LOVED the place where we had it. All I had to do was show up. Unfortunately, it was a really windy day, but not too, too cold, so it wasn't too bad. We had the party at one of the local farms. The kids played in the hay barn, went on the slide, and in the corn maze the whole time. I didn't have to lift a finger. I had 13 kids there and they supplied 40 hotdogs with buns, 20 cupcakes, two huge bags of chips, lemonade, and tons of supplies to make s'mores. They built the fire for us and tended it. LOVE that. The kids had a great time cooking their hotdogs on the fire, making s'mores and running around in the corn maze for three hours. I want to have a party there every year!

After E's party, we went to a Halloween party at a friend's house. The mom gets the hostess with the mostess award from me, that's for sure! She had a dozen kids in her basement, she had decorated the place with Halloween stuff all over, had plenty for them to eat, and a list of probably a dozen games that they played throughout the afternoon. This was one of my favorites where they had to try to eat a donut on the end of string without touching it. Of course, E won for the boys.

Yesterday, we joined some friends to see a local reptile exhibit. We really love this place, too. The dinosaurs move and roar, and one of them even spits at you! I loved how they put a fake arm in the T-Rex!

October Happenings

2011-10-13T10:53:00.005-04:00

It's hard to believe that my little boy will be eight years old tomorrow! Where the heck does all the time go? I have a party planned for him over the weekend at one of the local farms. Lots of fall stuff to do there like the corn maze, slide, pumpkins, hotdog roast. All fun stuff. I'm keeping my fingers crossed that it will be a nice day. So far, the forecast says we will be cool, but no rain. Phew!

Last weekend, the kids had a great time at Sunday school decorating the Succah and making their own candy Succot. This is really a fun holiday for them.

And, did I mention we did the artificial skydiving again last month? WHAT fun! e still wasn't up for it, but she watched as E and I pretended we were superheroes!

I Really Need to Stay on Top of This Better....

2011-09-23T16:03:00.002-04:00

The whole reason for starting this blog was so I could remember all the great things the kids and I do together...well, that doesn't help, if I don't keep up with things! So, a brief update on what we've been up to. Before school started back we went camping at the family camp near Pittsburgh for a week. I always enjoy that time. It's SO relaxing for me and the kids have a blast. E took horseback riding lessons and e and I did a lot of kayaking. I did the zipline, too, but got stuck! They had to come rescue me because I didn't make it all the way to the end. Oh well. Still a lot of fun. The kids and I took long bike rides in the woods almost every night after dinner, too. Great bonding time with them.

We've been busy doing a lot of other things, but of course I don't remember a whole lot right now! So, I'll give you an update on the man situation. I'd love to get your thoughts. I really like this guy. We've been seeing each other for about seven months now. He's wonderful with the kids and he's great around the house. I enjoy spending time with him. Neither of us have uttered the "L" word, but I think the feelings are there. A couple weeks ago we spent the day together (just he and I) at a football game. The kids spent the night at a friend's house so H was able to spend the night at my house for the first time. About a week earlier I had mentioned to him that I wanted to take the relationship kind of to the next step - meaning have him stay over once in awhile. I'm not really sure how to make this transition with the kids, so it worked out well that the kids went on a sleepover that night. Anyway, when I said "next step" he thought I meant marriage! Well, I'm in no way ready to get married, but I thought I'd want to work towards that.

So, on the way home from the football game, we had a long talk and he said he never wanted to get married again (burned badly in his previous marriage of 20 years). I told him at that time that I did want to work towards that and that I would have to move on. Now, I don't know...I mean, what is really the purpose of getting married? I'm already established financially, I have my own kids, if we did get married, we probably wouldn't live together for awhile since he built his house himself and I would never ask him to sell it...besides he loves it there and he's close to his own work (about 40 minutes away from where I live). And, I live a mile away from my office in a great neighborhood for the kids that is about a quarter of a mile from all the schools they will attend through high school. So, what really is the purpose of getting married? Especially at my age (47)? Is it just so we can say we're married and have some financial benefits that go along with that? But then we are totally entwined...financially and otherwise. And things get complicated....now I'm thinking why can't we just have a committed relationship without getting married? I don't know...I always thought I'd like to get married someday, but now I'm just not sure what the benefit is. I'm not even sure the kids need a "dad" so much as a father figure...H is great with them and a wonderful role model...isn't that really what we all want? Is that enough? Chime in at any time....

Summer Vacation #2

2011-08-03T17:03:00.002-04:00

Last week we made our annual trip to New England to visit my siblings. While I understand that it's nice that I can go there and visit everyone in one shot (and do so every year), it still perturbs me to some extent that my siblings rarely make the trip to visit us. It's about a five hour car ride to get there and we usually end up spending a week visiting everyone and doing some touristy stuff.

Every year we stay at my sister's house. She has the biggest house and two of her three children are now living away from home, so there's lots of room. My brother lives just a mile away and my other sister lives about an hour and a half away. My sister is always after me to come visit and stay with her but when we get there, I always feel like I'm intruding. I don't think she really likes having little kids around....I'm not even sure she likes to have company for extended periods of time! Yet, I don't really have an option. So, whenever we visit, I do my best to stay out of her hair. We always spend some time with her, but most of the time I try to get out of the house early and return after dinner sometime so we're out of her hair. I'm am also constantly trying to make myself useful while there -- cleaning up the kitchen and doing whatever laundry I see that needs to be done...I never get a thank you for any of this, which makes me feel like I'm almost expected to work while staying there....I don't know, maybe she just doesn't know that I'm doing all that work around her house.

Anyway, we spent a day with my sister on her new sailboat. Lots of fun going out, but no wind. Still, it was a nice day. The next day we went on my brother's boat...actually it was not a great day, weather-wise, so we ended up just going up and down the river near his yacht club on his dinghy. The kids had a great time swimming and scooting around on the little boat. So did I. We then spent a few days with sister #2 at her house. She's a lot more laid back and the kids had a lot of fun. Then back to sister #1's house (with a day at Mystic in between!) followed by another day of fun on my brother's boat. This time, a perfect day with lots of swimming, crabbing, and walking on the beach. E even got to do some tubing on the back of the boat.

The last few days were spent in upstate NY for an aunt's funeral. She actually died in March but the ground was too frozen to bury her back then. So, the family decided to wait until the weather got warmer...Where has she been for the last four months, you ask? Well, I wasn't sure either! I thought maybe she was on ice or in a drawer somewhere...but she was on my cousin's mantle. I guess this whole process was good for closure for her (her mom was well into her 90s when she died but lived with my cousin and her husband for the last several years...if not almost my cousin's whole life!). It was also good to see some other cousins that I haven't seen in probably forty years.

After all the driving, though, I'm really glad to be home. Vacation #3 coming up in a couple weeks....then school is back in session!

NO TRAINING WHEELS!

2011-07-18T15:52:00.003-04:00

The kids have been avoiding their bikes forever. I bought E a bike a couple years ago or so and I don't think he ever rode it. He asked me to take the training wheels off it last year but was still too afraid. e also has had a really girlie bike for a couple years or so and has never ridden it. Maybe a couple times with the training wheels, but the two of them usually opt for their Razor scooters, instead. They are certainly experts at using those!

Last week, for some reason, one of them (I think E, but I can't remember) asked me to get the bikes out without training wheels. e, of course, had to have hers without the training wheels, too. So, off the wheels went. In the past, I've always kind of pushed them along and held on. Well, I took a new approach this time. Our driveway has a little bit of a hill to it. So, I told them to just go down the hill and lift their feet off the ground, and once they felt comfortable with the balance to try to pedal. It worked! Literally, within a few minutes they were both riding great! Now, every night when we get home, they want to ride on their "two wheel bikes." I haven't had a bike in years, so I'm looking to buy one so I can keep up with them! I also had to get E a new bike because his was too small. I gave his old one to a neighbor and we went out right away for a new bike for E (I didn't want to lose the excitement of the moment!).

The new man has been working on my house lately....last week, he put up lattice work around my back deck...the next project is to redo the railings on the deck so it looks completely redone. I'm excited about how it's looking! And, what a great guy to be doing all of it for me. He really seems to enjoy helping me around the house. Usually by now I'm trying to figure out what is wrong with a guy...I haven't figured out anything about this one yet. He has a really laid back attitude and likes doing all the kid stuff with us. Maybe we just haven't spent enough time together! No arguments yet, though...we'll see how things go once we have one!

Back to it!

2011-07-12T12:35:00.006-04:00

Well, I've neglected this spot for way too long! I got really busy during the end of the semester trying to plan our Italy trip. Putting together all the details for two weeks there was a LOT of work! But, we ended up having a great time. We took 12 students along and fun was had by all. Most of it went pretty smoothly, surprisingly enough, since for many of the days I planned, I wasn't totally sure how long it would take to get to our destination, or even how we'd get there, and if we could fit everything into the day as planned. My kids were also great. Given that we were climbing and hiking much of the day on most days, they didn't complain much and seemed to love the trip. I'm posting some of my favorite shots (if anyone knows how to flip some of these the correct way, please let me know!).

E and e with the gelati...which we consumed just about every day!

This lake really is that blue!One of my favorite spots on top of a mountain by the lake
That was in May. The weather while we were there couldn't have been more perfect....low to mid 80s everyday and very little rain. I got to spend some time with a couple of my friends who live over there, too, so that was a lot of fun.

We also went to our local family camp for Mother's Day weekend. As you might remember, I'm making this a family tradition -- this was our third year. In August, we will go for a whole week - another family tradition that I have started. It was a little cold while we were there, but we had a great time. E and I tried the high ropes course. He fell off several times, but I think that's only because he wasn't afraid to fall! I really did NOT want to fall and trust my harness. I have a brand new appreciation for tight rope walkers. I have no idea how they do it.

The guy I was going out with last year and into the first part of this year is completely out of the picture now. He finally got the hint that I just wasn't interested anymore. We're still friends, but it was very clear to me that we were in completely different places in our lives...he just seemed very "old" to me...watched a lot of black and white movies, sat on his butt most of the day (that REALLY drove me crazy), and after a while seemed to be bothered by having little kids around (HUGE red flag). There were other things, too...he seemed to live in the past...always reminding people of his military service (over 40 years ago!) and his corporate accomplishments (he's now retired, so who cares what he did back then?). There was more, but I won't go into it too much -- maybe I've already bored you with what I've said so far! I guess the good thing is that no bridges were burned and we'll still be friends.

So, back to M*tch.com I went. AND there's a new guy now...I met him on M*tch and we corresponded for about a month before actually meeting for lunch. His correspondence was always very casual and unassuming, which I really liked. To be honest, I was actually just lukewarm about him for awhile. Good looking guy, but wasn't corporate or anything. For some reason, I had it in my head that I had to find a man that made a ton of money, was very driven and successful. I know, I CAN be pretty shallow at times.

Back in the beginning of March, we met for lunch. It was a very nice time, I found him attractive and the conversation was easy, but I was still lukewarm. Besides, his profile said he wasn't really looking for a relationship right now - just friends (but he clearly was not on the friends with benefits search). We went out again a couple weeks later. During that dinner, he did something kind of stupid. I didn't think a whole lot about it, but I was still lukewarm about him. Nothing was persuading me NOT to go out with him...I enjoyed his company, but I think the fact that I knew he wasn't looking for a relationship made me not look towards him...So, back to the stupid thing he did...again, I didn't think a whole lot about it, except that it kind of verified my lukewarm feeling towards him. BUT, the next day he sent this incredible flower arrangement to my office with an apology. Well, that got my attention! And, it made me think that maybe he IS interested in something more.

Anyway, to make a long story short, he just kept coming back...it was also clear to me that he's actually a pretty smart guy and very driven (built his own house and built a very cool car)...he starts projects and actually finishes them, he's really great with my kids (sometimes I think he likes playing with them more than he likes playing with me!), he fixes stuff around my house (major bonus there) practically every time he comes over. He didn't even try to kiss me until we had been going out for about three months. So, he kept growing on me with all the little things he kept doing. And, he had a lot of patience for me to figure out whether I wanted to be in a relationship with him. He is now at my house usually three or four times a week. It's nice to have the company. He also really likes to work on my Honey-do list! He doesn't sit on his butt at all - he constantly stays active helping me around the house or with the kids. We'll see where it goes, but so far, so good!

Funny Names

2011-02-09T11:04:00.002-05:00

I have a couple students, this semester, that have unusual names...
NoWay Jose (first name is not spelled that way, but pronounced No Way)
Spencer Spencer (His first name is actually spelled a little different from his last name)

I grew up with a girl named Gay Person...of course, she was given her name before the word gay had its current meaning...I'm pretty sure she changed it so she would go by her middle name.

Okay, your turn...what interesting names have you heard?

Borrowed Time

2011-02-01T13:53:00.003-05:00

E playing with his gum

e at ballet class

e and E going snow tubing

Does anyone ever feel like they are on borrowed time sometimes? I swear there are times when I cheat death. Last week I had to go to Pittsburgh for a board meeting. I go there four times a year for this meeting. It's about a 4 to 4 1/2 hour drive. The other months of the year are never bad, but the January meeting is always questionable weather-wise. I used to leave my house early and spend the day working with my friend there, then I have the board meeting the next morning until 2:00 pm...after the meeting, I have plenty of time to drive home and get the kids to bed. Now that my friend has been killed, I have no reason to go early, so I left my office around 3:00. It was also snowing a little and I wanted to wait it out for awhile.

Anyway, the highway was a little slushier than I thought and I was probably driving a little faster than I should have been. At one point, I was passing a truck and I started to plane...almost right into the side of the truck. VERY scary.

THEN, on the way back home the next day, it was just past dark and I think my depth perception was not so great...add to that the fact that my windshield was filthy. Anyway, there I am passing a truck again. I could see some red lights in front of me but couldn't figure out what they were....until I was right on top of them. They were flares in the road trying to move the traffic off the lane of an accident. Well, thank God the truck next to me gave me room, because I didn't even have time to look before I saw the flares and had to move over into his lane. If he didn't give me room, I would have either plowed into him, or into the several people who were at the scene of the accident in front of me. Also, VERY scary.

I hugged my kids a LOT this weekend. I can't even fathom the thought of what they would do without me...or what I would do without them.

Bad Luck Comes in Threes....Right?

2011-01-26T09:00:00.002-05:00

1. Last Saturday night we had sub-zero temperatures at night. I woke up Sunday morning to find that there was no water...in the whole house. I thought for a minute that maybe I forgot to pay my water bill, but that wasn't it. The pipes were frozen. The plumber came out fairly quickly and found the problem. Apparently, when I had my basement refinished this past summer, when they put in the Bilco door (new door to the outside), they left a little bit of the water pipe exposed to the outside. The plumber thawed it out and suggested that I leave the ceiling tile open so the pipe could get more warm air. I also left the heat on downstairs that night since we were to get sub-zero temps again.
2. Monday morning I get up and again, no water. This time, I know exactly what the problem is, so I go to the basement with my hairdryer and thaw out the pipe. e stood in the bathroom to tell me when the water started to flow. About 20 minutes later, she comes running in to tell me that the water was flowing! I was very proud of myself for not having to call the plumber and fixing the problem myself! About two seconds later, water came spraying out of the ceiling. The pipe had burst. So much for my feelings of pride! Fortunately, I was close to the water main and could shut the water off quickly. The damage was very well contained. The plumber came back and made his best attempt to seal off the pipe from the outdoor exposure and insulate it. Next time we have sub-zero weather, I'll know whether it worked!
3. When I got home yesterday, there was a message on my machine from one of my neighbors saying that they had noticed that the faucet outside was on and they turned it off for me. I know the plumber was out there on Sunday...not sure if he was out there yesterday. So, that water may have been on for a full two days. Ugh. I can't wait to get my water bill. I suppose it could have been much worse...the water could have been on longer, the damage from the burst pipe could have been much worse....

Then, I got my bill from Virginia on a speeding ticket that I got...Here's the story on that one...when I went to NC to visit P for Thanksgiving, I got a speeding ticket. That highway goes on for hundreds of miles and the speed limit is always 65 or 70...except in this one 30 mile stretch in Virginia where it is 55...and not well marked (of course I saw the 55 sign twenty feet before I saw the cop...too late). I was going 77. So, they don't give you a speeding ticket, they give you a SUMMONS! Of course, I can't come back to go to a court that is a 10 hour drive from my house, so I had to hire a lawyer to represent me (apparently, a very common thing since I got several solicitations from lawyers to use their services once I got home). To make a long story short, the court date was last week...total cost about $600...but no points on my license. Sigh. I think I need to win the lottery.

Back to Dating

2011-01-17T09:10:00.004-05:00

Okay, so I've taken the initiative to get back into the online dating scene. I've reactivated my profiles on two of the dating sites and even tried a third - which I quickly canceled because the ick factor was too high....Hey, since I live in the middle of nowhere, I have to be very proactive! So, here's my question...what is it about these guys and their profile pictures? A large portion of them post pictures of themselves with their dogs...many of those pictures have been taken professionally! There are also a LOT of pictures of JUST the dog(s). Quite often the number of pictures of the dog outnumbers the number of pictures of the guy. Also, a lot of pictures are of the guys taking pictures of themselves in the mirror with their cell phone...sometimes they are flexing their muscles, sometimes just trying to look normal. Many of them post pictures of places and things...beaches, homes, places they've been, their car, etc...just the places, not them in them. Isn't the whole point to see what they look like and not the surroundings? I just don't get it. Some of them even talk about the fact that they like to have sex on a regular basis. Okay, that rates pretty high on the ick scale, too. Sorry, but I don't even want to think about sex with a guy until I get to know him! Maybe they're just looking for someone to jump in the sack with them right away. I'm sure there are other women out there who want that. I guess.

Meanwhile, I'm still not sure P gets the message that I'm cooling things off. He still calls me "sweetie" on the phone, although we are talking much less often. Also, we have not made any plans to see each other again anytime soon. I guess I'll just have to take it as it comes and see what happens.

THE Conversation

2011-01-11T16:22:00.004-05:00

E and e with Santa!

So I had a conversation with P the other day. He called when he got home and I said that I didn't think the weekend went very well. Oooooh? He says. I told him that I thought he was bored the whole weekend and that I felt like I was being criticized. He said that he is often sarcastic and that maybe that comes off as being critical...I thought it was more than that. Anyway, he totally didn't get it. I still think I need someone who is going to be a little more active. It's kind of nice that he is so far away...that way I can just kind of move forward and if I meet someone in the meantime, I'll just cross that bridge when I get to it. I'm still convinced that he's not the one for me, but I don't know how to break it off. This is always the most difficult part, isn't it? He is a very nice man and I want to stay friends with him...I just don't think there is a romantic future for us. I suppose there will be more conversations in the future when I can get more to the point.

I digitized some old photos last week. I had some slides that my mom left -- I have been trying to figure out, for years, how to get a good look at them (Mom passed away in '98 and Dad passed away in '03 when I was just 3 months pregnant with E - he never knew). For Christmas, P gave me a device that digitizes old slides. It was really great to see these pictures of my parents without having to hold the slides up to the light. The pictures of my parents were taken shortly after they got married...must have been within one to three years since my sisters are in some of them....Here are some of my favorites.

Mom and Dad...not sure if any kids have been born yet...

I think Mom looks so elegant here with her fur collar and faux pearls!

I think my mom was in her 20s here.

Dating and Co-Sleeping

2011-01-03T09:17:00.007-05:00

Thanks for all the great input on the dating and co-sleeping. When P visited this past weekend, I did my usual thing of laying down with them until they fell asleep, then I went into my room with P and locked the door. I left the kids with the understanding that if the door is closed, they cannot come in. They did great. But I was still getting a little bit of a hard time from P...

So, the dating...first of all, P arrived last Thursday and did not say how long we was going to stay...I just think that needs to be defined ahead of time. I didn't have anything planned for us for the weekend, except a party at a neighbor's house New Year's eve. The rest of the weekend, I was just going to play it by ear and enjoy some time at home with the kids and P. So, Friday morning we get up, I make a cake, I make another dessert, I make a cheese ball for the party, I make dinner, I empty the dishwasher, clean the dishes, clean up the kitchen, pick things up around the house, then I go outside to put the jumpy inflatable thing up for the kids to burn off some energy (it's big and heavy, but I often do it by myself), stack the wood that had blown over in a storm earlier in the week, put the jumpy thing away (the girl next door helped me put it away) and generally just keep moving, moving, moving, getting things done. What did P do? He sat on the couch the whole day. Never once asked if he could help...Okay, I didn't ask him to help, either, but I have also made it fairly clear to him that I really DON'T ask for help...that doesn't mean he shouldn't offer! The next day was a lot of the same...when it came to dinner, I cooked up something nice, set the table, got everything on it, etc. When we were done, I cleared the table, did the dishes and cleaned up the kitchen. What did he do? Well he stood next to me and offered to put the dishes in the dishwasher...I have to say, it's just as easy for me to put the dishes inside the dishwasher as it is for me to hand them to him right next to me. I guess the point is that he tried to help...I guess.

He also watches black and white movies all the time. Sorry, but I like to watch something from the 21st century sometimes! And for some reason, he only wanted to watch things that were in HD. He didn't even want to search for things that weren't in HD. When I had control of the remote, I said that I pay for ALL the channels and I want to see what is on all of them. After watching The Twilight Zone for about three hours (his choice. I, of course, was doing other things), I asked if it was okay if we watched something else. I put it on a medical show on TLC or Discovery that I thought was interesting. He said "do you really want to watch that? That's geek of the week stuff!" Okay, look who's talking about geek of the week, Mr. I only watch black and white or HD! I didn't say anything about what he was watching, but now all of a sudden he's criticizing what I want to watch, how I raise my children (he made a few comments here and there about the fact that I let E try some champagne on New Year's and that they don't go to sleep on their own...other things, too), what my house looks like, etc.

I also felt like he complained a lot. I think I've mentioned before about how he's always talking about the news business, but he's always complaining about how no one can do the news well, what is wrong with every program on tv, and of course, how everything else in the world is so ridiculously out to get everyone. Of course, he did everything perfectly when he was in the business. GET OVER IT! You are RETIRED! Things change! You are NOT the expert anymore! And, they must be doing something right because they are making a lot of money at it and people are watching it. Waaah, waaah, waaah, waaah, waaah! Oh, and did I mention that during the Vietnam war, he was stationed in Germany for awhile...never fought, just did stuff in Germany...not sure what. He told me once that he could always tell who the Vietnam Vets were within the first five minutes of speaking to them...well, that's because HE always brings it up within the first five minutes of speaking to someone! And then uses it as an excuse for things! Okay, I am all for being positive about our vets. I think they should be proud of what they did and we should support them. BUT, he was in the Army over 40 YEARS ago! That doesn't make him any better than anyone else. I think he is living WAY too much in the past...

And the cigar smoking! YUCK! I said something to him about it over the phone, that he can't kiss me after smoking unless he's had a mint or something. Okay, so he addressed that, I think, but HE still smells! It's all over his clothes, and in his skin. I just really couldn't stand it!

Okay, I'm done ranting and venting....I guess this relationship isn't going to work, eh? Add to that the fact that E woke up this morning, got into bed with me (P left yesterday) and said that he had had a nightmare that he and I were separated for a few days and couldn't find each other. We finally found each other, but it was very scary. I'd be scared, too! That's a pretty strong signal, if you ask me.

I think it's time to have a conversation with P...maybe just say that I think the two of us are in different stages of our lives and they are too different. Nice guy, just not for me. Oh well. It was nice while it lasted!

Question for all...

2010-12-30T10:23:00.003-05:00

Co-sleeping...it's been a battle for quite awhile now, but hasn't really been an issue until, of course, P came along. Since the kids keep saying that they are afraid to sleep in their beds, every night, I lay down on the floor with the two of them in E's bedroom. I lay down in the middle so there is no arguing about who is next to mommy and they cuddle close to me. I stay until they fall asleep - for E that's very fast, but since e is still taking naps at pre-school, she takes much longer...sometimes up to an hour...and, of course, I often fall asleep, too. I typically wake up about an hour later and go to my room. Then, in the middle of the night, e usually wakes up and joins me...often with E by her side. Now, I have to say that I really don't mind this whole process. I get to cuddle with my kids, and I know this stage is not going to last forever -- so I'm enjoying it while I can. I'm pretty sure I'm not creating some Oedepus Complex or anything like that with my kids. This gives us time to talk about the day and be close. I think it's also possible that once e starts kindergarten and stops taking naps, she'll be more likely to spend the whole night in E's room.

When P visits, it's a bit more of a problem. He feels left out when I spend so much time putting them to bed (I know, waah, waaah), and doesn't like when they come in to invade our bed during the night or early in the morning (don't worry, we are both fully dressed). I explained to him that I am working on the bedtime routine, but they really need me right now. They will be on their own when they are ready. In fact, I've been having a lot of conversations with them about "being ready" so they can make the transition. I've thought about putting e in her own bed after she falls asleep, but she is a fairly light sleeper. I'm pretty sure she would wake up as soon as I picked her up.

So, should I just not worry about this and tell P to basically get over it? Should I be more forceful in getting them to sleep on their own? That just seems like a very long torturous process....I don't know....thoughts?

Long Time, No See...

2010-12-28T14:34:00.003-05:00

e swimming at the hotel

Well, I've been a really bad blogger lately, haven't I! I'll try to update everyone on what has been happening! We went to Hawaii for a week the week before Thanksgiving...had a really great time. The kids even traveled well for such a long trip. It took us about 18 hours to get there and three planes. Fortunately, the trip back was a red-eye, and only two planes, so they slept quite a bit. The day after we returned, I put them in the car again and we drove to NC to spend Thanksgiving with P and his daughter. That is a VERY long drive and not one I want to do again. We stopped at our friend's house in DC which is about a 3 1/2 hour drive from my house...P's house is another 7 hours from there.

E swimming with a sea turtle!

So, how did things go, you are wondering? Well, I have to say that I think the honeymoon period is over. I still really like him, but I'm not so sure, anymore, that he is Mr. Right. It is definitely different seeing someone on their own turf. I am also not willing to make that trip again very often, or even at all....It's WAY too far to drive with the kids for a weekend, and if I flew there, I would still have to pay to have the kids taken care of for the weekend. That's a lot of expense and hassle just for a weekend. Besides, I really like spending time with the kids...although, I know that time away with another adult is also a good thing.

So, here are the things that are bothering me....The distance...I just don't know how willing I am to work on that aspect. So far, he seems okay with traveling, so that's good. I also think there are some generational differences between us (he's about 19 years older than me)...he smoked cigars while we were visiting...a lot...he watches old movies all the time...he talks about the news business all the time (he used to be in the news business) and how terrible things are run these days. When he's not talking about the news, he's talking about jazz. And, a lot of complaining! I was considerably colder when I returned from NC and he definitely noticed it. I, of course, didn't talk about all the things that I just listed - just a couple. And, of course, he said all the right things that just made me melt.

He's coming for a visit again on Thursday, so we'll see how things go. I'm not sure how long he's staying...he didn't say...just left it open...I'm not sure I'm thrilled about that. I have lots of work to do, so I'm kind of hoping he doesn't stay too far into the week. I doubt I will have to worry about it.

So, maybe I should just enjoy the fact that I can have sex with someone for awhile and not worry about all this relationship stuff? I don't know. I think he is really in love with me, and I do kind of like the idea of having someone around to do "adult" things with. I'm just beginning to think that I need to find someone with closer interests. So, should I reopen the online dating portals? Do I even tell him that I am doing so? I would say no...especially since he is not in the area. Does that mean that I'm cheating on him? This is very complicated.

Anyway, the kids had a really nice Hanukah and a nice Christmas (we celebrate both). Santa had to give e an IOU for a DSi that didn't arrive on time. I ordered it from China and I'm beginning to think that it got lost in shipping....I have to say, though, that the customer service from this company has been beyond extraordinary. They have communicated with me regularly, and even said that if the box was lost in shipping, they would express a new one and send me an extra 20 games with it for free. So, for just over $300, I got the DSi, 248 (!) games, some other stuff, and now, potentially another 20 games. I figured I can sell some of the games to game stop and maybe even make money on the deal. Yes, I'm always looking for a good bargain! :-)

Hope everyone has a wonderful New Year!

DC Weekend

2010-10-26T14:37:00.002-04:00

Well, the more time I spend with this guy, the more I love him. We spent the weekend in DC and had a great time. He stayed with a friend of his and I stayed with a friend of mine (one of E's half siblings). Turns out they lived a few blocks from each other in the same neighborhood. How's that for coincidence?

We arrived around 8:30 Friday night and went straight to his friend's house to say hello and have some dessert with them. They had some other people there, too, some of P's friends, around the table. My kids were a little antsy and shy, though, with so many people, and having just spent three and a half hours in the car. They were all over me which made it difficult to carry on any conversation with anyone. So, we didn't stay long, but it gave me a little bit of an opportunity to meet P's daughter, as well. She is just a doll.

Saturday, we went to a local Renaissance Festival. I have never been to one of these things and was really amazed at how seriously people take them! Some really incredible costumes. I'm not sure what people do with these costumes the rest of the year, but it is clear that they look forward to wearing them for the Festival. P said that he could tell his daughter was sizing me up at times while we were at the festival. I really liked her...sweet, unassuming, smart, easy to get along with. P and I went out for a nice dinner later that evening and had some time by ourselves (well, without kids and friends, anyway). We spent a couple hours talking at dinner about just everything. I can tell he just adores me, and I really love him, too. I know we've only been seeing each other for a very short time, so you are all probably thinking that I am somewhat naive about this whole thing or that it's my hormones talking. We both feel like we've known each other for years...kind of soul mates. I think, as you get older, you just know these things.

Saturday night there was a black tie event that P forgot was happening that weekend. He didn't want to go, anyway, but there were people there who flew in from all over to go to this event. Apparently, by midnight, they were all calling him and texting him to try to get him to go to the after-party, since they found out he was in town and he told them he was having dinner with me instead of going to the party. Besides, he didn't have his tux with him (the after-party was more casual). Anyway, we opted for breakfast/coffee the next morning.

So, Sunday we had breakfast with another author friend of his and a producer from Hollywood. P was in his element. I told him that next year, we were going to go to this party because it was a great networking opportunity for him. His next book should be out by then and he spoke to the producer about a movie idea that will hopefully have some traction by then, too. I really liked meeting these two guys - both old friends of P - both really great guys. I think a person's friends say a lot about someone.

P and his daughter left late morning to head back to NC and we went to the Museum of Natural History with my friend and all the kids. Lots of fun, but we didn't spend too long there since we wanted to get back on the road, too.

P is coming back to stay with me for about five days next week...can't wait. Then, the kids and I are off to Hawaii for a conference (I know you feel sorry for me) for a week. The day after we get back, we will get in the car and go to NC (with a stop in DC to break up the drive) to spend Thanksgiving with him and his daughter.

I just can't seem to get enough of this guy...SO opposite of the way I usually am...Usually, I can't wait to get my own space after several hours with them (or in some cases, several minutes).

Now I Know

2010-10-18T08:44:00.003-04:00

He's THE one. No question. I guess when it's right, you know. We spent an entire week together (barring a couple days in the middle) and I still didn't want him to leave. He arrived last Sunday, stayed until Wednesday, went to visit his sister, came back on Friday and left again yesterday afternoon. Last Monday, we spent the entire day together without the kids. That was a treat. We talked a LOT. After the kids went to bed at night, we would spend many hours more talking and enjoying each other's company. I really enjoy being with him. The "L" word even came up before he left and we both agreed that we have something very unique and special together. I can't remember the last time I enjoyed being with someone so much. He's really great with the kids, too. They really like him and say that he's a good tickler. I thought that was pretty funny. I guess that's all it takes to impress a 4 and 7 year old! We are meeting again this weekend in DC. Hopefully, he'll have his daughter with him, too. I'm looking forward to meeting her.
He came to E's birthday party on Saturday at the roller skating rink, too, and was a great help. I'm not used to asking other people for help, so that's taking me a little while to get used to. Fortunately, he offers, but I did tell him that I'm not used to asking and that I just do everything myself. The kids had a great time at the party. Three hours of non-stop roller skating. E is getting pretty good at it - even e is getting to the point where I don't need to hold her all the time. On Sunday, I took the kids to one of e's friend's birthday party. They live on a 60 acre farm with lots of animals and places to explore. E and e had lots of fun chasing the ducks and turkeys, playing with all the other animals, and going on the hayride.

The Four-Day First Date

2010-10-13T10:52:00.002-04:00

Okay, I have to admit that four days for a first date is pretty long! But I also have to admit, it was really nice to have him here. There are clearly some things that will drive me crazy - but that's true in any relationship. We both had a really good time, though. We both felt close and very comfortable with each other and I was actually sorry to see him go this morning. He's coming back this weekend, just for one night, for E's birthday party. This long distance thing is definitely going to be tough. We talked about a weekend away somewhere...I'll have to figure out when we might do that and what to do with the kids. When the weather starts to turn, it's going to be even more difficult. We definitely have some challenges ahead of us.

Quick Update

2010-10-12T08:59:00.003-04:00

Okay, so he arrived Sunday around noon and he is still here. We spent Sunday at one of the local Fall places, where we could go through a corn maze, take a hayride to the pumpkin patch, and do lots of Fall things. It was a lot of fun but I wasn't sure he was warming up to the kids (we took another kid along, too...the little girl up the street I told you about earlier, who seems to practically live at my house when she stays with her father). I think he just didn't want to overstep his boundaries with them.

We had a little bit of alone time Sunday night, but then the kids woke up because they noticed I wasn't in the room with them. Oh well. We did have all day yesterday, though. The kids were in school (E was in his after school program all day since it was a holiday), and I played hooky from the one class I was to teach in the afternoon. I have to admit that it's been really nice to be close to someone again. It's been a really long time!

Last night, he started to warm up to the kids some more....he played his trumpet for them (they loved that - I did, too), and tickled them a lot. They seemed to warm up to him a little more, too.

While I'm really enjoying this time with him, and it feels very comfortable, I'm not sure yet that he's THE one...we'll see. I think that takes a lot of time. I'm enjoying our conversation, but he's talking a lot about work...he's retired now, and I don't really know a lot about his industry, so that has me a bit bored.

He leaves tomorrow morning. We'll see what happens after that. All in all, for a very long first date, I think it's been going pretty well. The fact that I'm feeling a lot better about my body and everything helps, too. I'm down to about a size 6 from a year ago when I was about a size 18 or 20...and maybe even pushing that. So, this new sense of actually feeling sexy is kind of nice. The toothless, muscle-bound guy that delivered my wood over the weekend also clearly made a pass at me. I guess if things don't work out with my trumpet-playing friend, I have an alternative!

Yikes!

2010-10-04T08:50:00.002-04:00

He's coming for a visit! Our correspondence and phone calls had been going really well. The conversation was easy and relaxed, but we always tiptoed around anything that had to do with "us." So, I decided to go out on a limb. Our meeting in DC is three weeks away and I really didn't want to wait that long to see him. Besides, we would be with a lot of other people the whole time and not have any real "alone" time except for the fact that my friend offered to watch the kids while we went out for dinner.

So, I asked if he would consider coming for a visit. I figured that he knew I couldn't go there any time soon (it's about an eight hour drive), and his schedule is much more flexible but I'm sure he didn't want to invite himself over. So, I took the plunge and asked him, having no idea as to whether I was overstepping my bounds or not....He's coming to visit this weekend! Not sure of the exact day yet, but probably Saturday and will stay until Tuesday. That's a long time for a first date! Not exactly the way I had envisioned things to go with a first date with someone, but since he lives so far away it's a little difficult to get any time with him at all. I guess this time together will be pretty telling! I'm obviously very nervous about seeing him again, but also very excited. It's been a very long time since I've been with anyone, but I am really ready to have a relationship now. I'll let you know how it goes!

Update on The Man Situation

2010-09-22T10:52:00.002-04:00

Okay, I'm trying not to read too much into this. I still have no idea whether this guy is interested in me or not. We email each other regularly, and now talk on the phone usually several times a week. I really enjoy talking with him. The conversation seems to flow pretty easily. We have really gotten away from talking about the horrible event over the summer, so that's good. Of course, it still comes up once in awhile, but for the most part we are able to find plenty of other things to talk about.

DC is halfway between us so we are meeting there next month. He kept saying that I was welcome to come visit him in NC and I kept saying he was welcome to visit me in PA. He said he would show me around Rome if I wanted to visit with him, and I invited him to meet us in Hawaii for Thanksgiving (I have a conference there). But everything seemed too far away distance wise, or too expensive right now. So, I suggested we meet halfway. We both have friends in DC that we will stay with. I'll have the kids with me. He may have his daughter with him, as well. The weekend of Oct. 22nd was the soonest time I could stay at my friend's house, so that is when we will meet there. I wish it was sooner so I could figure this thing out! The not-knowing is really killing me!

Look What We Did!

2010-09-20T16:29:00.003-04:00

We had a VERY busy weekend....yesterday was go, go, go right until the kids went to bed. They slept really well! Saturday, I took them to my University for an event the students were having - a vertical wind tunnel. It sounded REALLY cool...you could experience the feel of skydiving without jumping out of a plane. So, off we went...the process took way longer than I thought, so we ended up being late for a birthday party in the afternoon, but it was SO worth it. It is essentially a very powerful fan that allows you to fly above it.Here we are suited up in our flying outfits...yes, I am Superwoman!

E had a blast! e had fun, too, but was too scared to fly, so E got to go twice...lucky him. Since he was so light, they were flipping him around upside down and right side up...He loved it, as you can see!

Sunday was the first day of Sunday school, another birthday party, and swimming lessons....both of my children only made it through half their lessons. E just doesn't want to do it once he gets there...I think he's a little bored...or maybe it's because the water is so cold. e is just cold. We'll try again next week, but I don't see the water getting any warmer....that is a big deterrent....not sure what to do about that.

Both Saturday and Sunday night one of the little girls who lives up the street came over. She's pretty much like clockwork...right around dinner time, she shows up. Her parents are divorced and she is with her father on the weekends. I don't think he really knows what to do with her, so she always ends up at my house. I often end up feeding her and just watching her for the evening and often for the day, if we are at home. I guess I'm glad she has a positive influence with me to help her get through her time with her dad, but I'm also a little annoyed that they are always playing at my house. I think he's an okay guy...just doesn't know what to do with a kind of immature 7 year old.

Coming Out of The Fog

2010-09-14T11:03:00.006-04:00

e found a giant moth

We rented a pontoon a few times while in WV. E LOVED going out on the tube!We visited Coopers' Rock in WV. It is quite a view!

Well, I'm finally starting to come out of the fog of the horror that happened last month. I think there are just some things that happen in your life that scar you for the rest of your life. This is one of those things. I try not to think about the terror that my friend went through during her last moments...when she awoke, with her neck slit, saw that her own son had killed her and fought for her life. I am trying to focus on all the positive experiences we had together. I'm sure, in time, those are the memories that will fill my thoughts about her.

The kids at the castle

So, the day after I found out about her death, we had scheduled to go camping at the family camp we go to for Mother's Day weekend. We LOVE this place. It was just the vacation I needed. No tv, no phones, no cell phone service, nothing but nature...except when I drove to the top of the mountain to check my messages and check on my friend's mom. All our meals are cooked for us, and in the morning, the kids go to group time...kind of like their camp time, during which they went on hikes, went swimming, built gnome homes (for all the gnomes living in the woods, of course), visited the animals in the nature center, went on pony rides, or whatever else the counselors could think of to keep them busy.

e and E playing in the woods

E getting a sailing lesson

e swimming in the lake

After their group time, they return to the cafeteria for camp songs, where I join them. We have lunch together, then there are any number of planned activities we can participate in. But, while they were in camp, I took sailing lessons, went on hikes, went canoeing, got a massage, and went on the zip line. The kids wanted to see me go on the zip line, so I did it a second time later in the week....kind of terrifying and fun at the same time!

E and e playing by the lake

And, e with the stinky fish they found!

We decorated cupcakes one afternoon

And helped paint a mural another day...

The afternoons we spent doing artwork, hiking, boating, whatever. A couple evenings they had kids night out, so I had more free time to relax. There is always lots of singing camp songs and acting crazy. A great way to bond with the family. Love, love, love this place. We will make it a tradition. I never have to worry about the kids, since everyone is watching out for everyone. The second to last day there, I spent the afternoon kayaking and sailing while E went sailing with someone else and e played on the beach with a friend. SO relaxing.

The 40 foot climb to do the zip line and me going across!

After being away for over a month, though, it was nice to get home. Of course, I had to leave a few days later to go to my friend's funeral, which was horrible, as you might imagine. The priest talked a lot about forgiveness...I know this was my friend's mom's doing, but I just don't know if I can forgive this kid. It was a heinous, violent, cold-blooded act. I just don't know.

There are some good things that have come out of this...I've really been trying to make lemonade out of the whole situation. My friend and I did a lot of work and research together. She is the reason I spent so much time in Italy and was to spend most, if not all, of my summers there in the future. So, I have taken over that part of the company to continue the college trips and executive retreats there. It will be a lot of work, but I think it will be worth it. I'll keep you updated!

Last but not least...I'm hesitant to even say anything to jinx it. BUT, over the past couple years or so, my friend had been after me to meet a guy that she used to date. She was forever trying to fix me up...usually with strangers that looked attractive, but always trying to fix me up, nonetheless. While we were in WV, she says to me, "I've got the perfect man for you!" She then proceeds to show me a picture of some random muscle bound man wearing a speedo on the beach in Italy. He did look good! We had no idea who he was, but she was convinced she could find out for me.

There were a couple of her ex's there that I sat with at the funeral. One, I thought was coming on to me, but he kind of gave me the creeps...not sure why...nice guy, just a little too consoling. The other one, however....the one that she has been after me to meet for the past couple years was very nice. We had dinner together after the visitation the night before the funeral. His sister joined us as did another friend of mine. We sat together at the funeral and at the luncheon following. He's been emailing me almost daily since. Not in an overbearing way, but a very natural way. SO, we'll see what happens. He is a retired news producer, now writer. He's published two books and is working on his third. I think one of the first is being made into a movie, but I haven't gotten the details. Since he is a writer, his emails are very visual and almost poetic in their imagery. If nothing else, I'm enjoying his friendship. He lives in NC, so I'm not sure how feasible a long distance relationship is...on the other had, where there is a will, there is a way....I'll let you know how it goes!

Crazy Turned Nightmare

2010-08-23T11:16:00.002-04:00

Just a brief update to bring you up to speed on everything. So, after all the craziness of West Virginia, it all turned into a nightmare a week ago last Friday. About 8:15 in the morning I got a call from my friend's mom telling me that she had been killed while traveling in India. She went from Sri Lanka to India to do some touring with her 15 year old son. Her mom proceeded to tell me that she was stabbed to death in her hotel room and that her son was being held as a suspect. It's all just beyond comprehension. I couldn't believe it and felt really bad for her son...to find out that his mom had been killed and then to be held as a suspect. How terrible! Well, it gets even worse. As the details started to spill out, it is looking like he really did do it.

My friend sent me a text around 12:30 am that morning and then called her mother (who was with me). I'm guessing she went to bed just after that conversation. Later, during the night, her son allegedly cut her throat, dragged her body to the beach nearby, and then tried to board a plane to Delhi.

I leave tomorrow for the funeral. I'm just devastated. She was one of my closest friends and I just can't get my head around how a son can feel so much violence towards his mother. She was such a good person. I thought he was, too. He had so much going for him...spoke Italian fluently, German fairly well, too, well traveled, studied in Italy usually about half the year. I took him to Cyprus and Egypt with us last summer and he has watched my kids on several occasions. I will never get it. I guess you never really know people. It turns out that since he is a minor, it's very rare for minors to be tried as adults in India, so the most he will get is probably three years. Insane. I will really miss her.

Going Crazy....REALLY Crazy

2010-08-06T11:15:00.002-04:00

Well, this summer has really taken off and we have been full of travels. Around the end of June we drove 3 1/2 hours to upstate NY to see my aunt and some cousins who I haven't seen in about five years. The aunt is now 92 (I think) and has been the picture of health her whole life, until she broke a hip last year. As you know, at that point, you just never know how much longer they will last, so I thought a trip was in order. I'll post some pictures from that trip soon, but it was nice to see the house where my mother grew up and visit with some cousins.

Then we drove another five hours to CT to visit my siblings. That was a lot of fun. We got there during a heat wave and spent a couple days on my brother's boat. Thank goodness for that because it was REALLY hot and about ten degrees cooler on the water. The kids had a blast. We stayed at my sister's house and for some reason, E kept peeing in the bed! I think my sister was a little put off by that...and that fact that the kids were in and out of the house a lot. She's not used to having little ones around any more!

From CT we went to RI to visit with my other sister and took a day trip to visit with another 96 year old aunt. I'm sure the kids were just loving visiting all these old people! But, ya gotta do it. Then back to CT for a few days visiting friends and going to museums before making the 5 hour trip back home. On the way, we stopped at the Crayola factory and met up with one of e's half siblings. It was really nice to meet them and the girls look quite a bit alike.

The day after we got home, I had to get back to work. I run a week-long entrepreneurship camp for high school students every summer and that was the week. Once that was over, I had a few days to get things in order, then we were off to WV so I could do some work there...

So, this is where the craziness sets in. Originally, a friend of mine who I have been working with for about six years, asked if I would come out to WV to help her run a couple camps. She said that a girl from Italy (who we met last year) was coming to the US for the summer and that she would stay with us for a couple weeks. Great. I was really looking forward to seeing her and having her as our guest. The Italian girl was supposed to come the week of my camp. In fact, I planned to have my camp that specific week because it overlapped with a basketball camp I knew she would want to attend. Then I was hoping to have a little travel time, show her the area and go to NYC for a day.

So, I paid for E to go to camp until the end of July and planned to go to WV to help the first two weeks of August and then go to a family camp close to where we were staying in WV for the third week. My friend said there would be plenty of help to watch the kids while I was working those two weeks and they would be kept busy.

At the last minute, she calls and asks if we can get here early...the 15th. I say the best I can do is the 21st. Okay, I've paid for E to be in camp that last ten days, but if I'm getting free care and accommodations, I'm willing to eat it. Btw, I payfor e's daycare whether I'm there or not. We get here and find out we can't get into the building for two more days. We are staying in an old monastery next to a vacant castle. I thought the kids would be able to go exploring in the castle, hiking on the grounds (there are trails in the woods behind us, but they have all grown in over the years), and spend time swimming at the lake (get here and find out there are no beaches). The reality was that, when we got here (after spending two nights in a hotel - which my friend did pay for), there are no trails, no a/c, it's hotter than hell for the first week or so, we can't easily swim in the lake, the hiking trails are grown over, there is nothing to do in the area, and oh yeah, she wants me to send the kids to camp for the two weeks (which are now a week earlier than anticipated - this appears to be on my dime) while I'm working....

Okay, I'm trying to go with the flow, so I work the two camps (which were run so badly it was embarrassing), but then I have a week and a half before I can get into the family camp where I have a reservation...and there is NOTHING to do...no internet (I'm tethering my blackberry), no tv, no kids activities in the area. No washing machine, either...I feel like I spend two hours a day just washing clothes...in the sink....oh, but there were the couple of times that E peed in his bed (which is a mattress on the floor), so I had to wash the sheets and comforter....but, of course, they don't fit in the sink so I had to find an outside faucet and wash them on the ground. Are you getting the picture?

One especially wonderful day was when my friend left me to run the high school camp on my own for a couple days (oh, and did I mention she's only been here for less than half the time and right now she's in Sri Lanka for another week and a half?). I took them to the local town along with another professor who is here visiting from the Czech Republic. I was not feeling well that day, but did the work anyway (I am woman, hear me roar, right?). SO, I'm stuck here with a half dozen teenagers (whom I am constantly cleaning up after! I felt like I was following ten Pigpens), one of whom is ADD and repeats EVERYTHING 20 times. She had the heart of gold, but had to tell me things over and over and over again...constantly...then I'm stuck with the Czech guy, nice guy but wants to tell me all about himself and the fall of communism in the Czech Republic. Half the time I can't understand what he's saying and the rest of the time, I just don't understand (or care about) the topic...oh, and did I mention that my stomach hurt so bad that I felt like I was having labor pains????? Lord get me out of here...

So, here I am, still stuck in WV. My family camp reservation isn't until the 15th. I could stay here another week and get some work done, but I'm going so crazy that I'm contemplating going home (driving five hours) for a week and then driving back this way to go to the camp next week. I have pleaded with the camp to find a way for me to switch weeks and they are seeing what they can do. But either way, I'm screwed. If I go back this weekend, I have to drive about five hours each way (yes, I would come back for the camp - the kids and I were really looking forward to it and it will be relaxing - it's the same place we go for mother's day weekend). When I get back home, I can no longer get E into camp there, so he would be bored spending the week with me. I'm pretty sure I can get e back into daycare, but E is stuck. If I am successful at moving the camp up one week, I still won't be able to get E into camp when we return. So, there's the big question. Do I stay here and be miserable for one more week, but the kids will be able to go to camp here, or do I put all of us through the long drive back and forth, put e back in daycare and keep E with me during the week? Ugh. I just can't win.

So, that's why I've been offline for awhile. I'll post some pictures when I get back to my own computer at my office....I am working on my netbook which has no connections for that.

Trip to the Harbor and a Circus

2010-06-22T14:32:00.006-04:00

E and e inside the Baltimore Aquarium

I decided to take the kids for a field trip last week. So Friday, we drove to the Baltimore harbor, stayed in a hotel overnight and went to the Aquarium the next day. It's about a 2 1/2 drive to get there. Luckily, we ran into very little traffic and it really did take us just about that time. The hotel we stayed in was nice, but since we all sleep in one bed (they still have to be attached to me at night!), it was a little difficult for me to sleep. They were so excited to stay in a hotel and go swimming there.
The next morning we got up and went to the Aquarium. Luckily, I had bought our tickets online so we didn't have to deal with a lot of lines or delays getting in. The Aquarium is very cool and very big! And, I have to admit, my kids were not the most cooperative! I get very paranoid when we are in big places and have to keep yelling at them to stay close so I can see them. Of course, E always likes to run ahead and now e often joins him. I always say that wherever we go, everyone knows my children's names because I'm constantly telling them to stay close! Other than that, they were really great.
While there, I was going to try to meet up with my best friend from high school. We've gone our separate ways, but have stayed in touch over the years. It's been about 10 years since I've seen her, so I sent her an email asking if she and her family wanted to meet us after we finished at the aquarium. She was really excited about it. We spoke Saturday morning and made a plan to meet around 3:00. Then she called around 11:00 and said that it was 90+ degrees outside and getting hotter. Her husband and son had just come from a swim meet and were spent and they didn't want to go out walking around the harbor in this heat. Okay. Is it just me, or is that the wimpiest thing you ever heard? You don't want to go out and meet up with an old friend because it's too hot outside? Come on!

Okay, whatever. I had also contacted a friend of mine from college. I think it's been about 20 years since I've seen him but we've also stayed in touch. He's done the whole Bohemian Save The World thing over the years with Peace Corps and other organizations and has lived in different places around the world. He met up with us and we had a great time. We caught up on old friends that we had and what life is like for each of us now. He's just a great guy (and I know you're wondering...he's gay, so no opportunities there!).

E and e played in a fountain while there (e went European with her shirt off since I didn't bring their bathing suits!). At one point, E came over to talk with us and my friend asked what was in his hair...of course it was a booger that had found its way there after playing in the water. So, I wiped it off. A few minutes later, E comes back and talks with us and proceeds to pee on the pavement...okay, well, water does that. So I told my friend that before long we'll find a way to throw up on him, too...maybe even do a number two! He thought that was funny, but a few minutes later, E had tried to drink the water from the fountain, choked on it, and came running over with a little vomit coming out of his mouth. I guess I have to be careful what I say! I got him cleaned up and he was back to playing in no time. Luckily, there was no poop involved....this time.
Last night the circus was in town. This must be another small-town thing, because I had never seen a circus like this before I moved here. It was basically a one-ring circus with the same half dozen people doing different parts of the show. They were actually quite talented! After every couple of acts they would try to sell you something. It was really entertaining to listen to their shpiels! The kids had a great time, though. I don't think it matters to them that it's not Barnum and Bailey!

The Good Part About Living in a Small Town

2010-06-15T13:50:00.011-04:00

Luminaries along the track

While I always say that this town has drawbacks and strangeness (see earlier post about the strange things about living here http://theeshaveit.blogspot.com/2009/08/things-i-see-in-central-pennsylvania.html), there are a lot of wonderful things about this area. One thing is that when something bad happens, the area really pulls together. Recently, a couple local high school students were in a bad car accident on their way back from their prom. One is still in a coma, the other will be paralyzed from the waist down. A huge tragedy for both families. The local towns continue to put signs up offering strength to the families and kids, and do fundraisers to help the families with their bills. The newspaper posts updates on the kids' progress regularly. You just don't see that in a big city.

Luminaries in the football stands

We also band together to support cancer (its end, of course, not supporting its' existence!). Every year, there are several Relay For Life teams that do various events to raise money. The largest event is held at my university. For 36 hours people walk around the track, buy luminaries in honor or in memory of someone with cancer, or do something else to raise money (raffles, etc). The luminaries are put all along the track and it is really quite touching to see them all lit up. People camp out over night and there is constant entertainment - from local bands, to karaoke, to contests, etc. The kids and I entered a frozen t-shirt contest. I had never heard of this, but they have a bunch of t-shirts that they have folded, soaked, and then frozen. The goal is to be the first team to put on the t-shirt. I have to say that it is much more difficult than it sounds! It would also be a great game for a kids party.

Walking the track

Also, here is a video of E and e at a recent picnic. It's amazing how busy and silly two kids can be with a little grass and water. First, they collected the grass and laid it evenly around the faucet, then they built a moat, then a mountain. They were quite a mess by the time they were done! (sorry about the glitch -- I had to shoo away a bee!)

E and e getting silly

Catching Up

2010-06-03T15:24:00.005-04:00

Well, my semester has been over for awhile now and I have been playing catch-up around the house. I took 13 more bags of clothes to Goodwill the other day and still really trying to get the house in order. It's actually turning out to be a good thing that we are not doing a lot of traveling this summer because it's so rare that I get to spend time getting things organized.

E has signed up for swim team, so he's swimming four nights a week. I'm seeing quick improvement in his skills since he is getting a lot of feedback. He loves it, too...Thank goodness. e and I spend time doing various things while I try to watch him swim - off and on. e LOVES basketball. So, while E is swimming, e and I go into the gym with her Dora ball and she shoots some hoops. It's actually pretty funny to watch her since there are all these big college guys playing around us. Then we go color her Tinkerbell coloring book. Hopefully, these activities will continue to keep her busy...Swim team goes for several weeks!

e playing basketball...with the big boys in the background!

The latest on the weight loss...I'm feeling SO much better these days. Fifty pounds down and still averaging about 2 lbs a week. It's been so great to be able to play harder with the kids, run up and down stairs again, and just feel better about myself, overall. Now, I just need to get some updated pictures of myself so I can post them on eH and start dating again.

I'm a Baby-Head

2010-05-17T15:21:00.003-04:00

That's e's newest occasional name for me, or anyone she's mad at. It's usually preceded by "you're mean!" Well, what can I say. The REALLY bad people are "stupid-heads" and "shut-up heads." Fortunately, I don't ever get those titles. I just have to laugh.

E and e on a foot bridge during our hike

Finally getting a chance to post about our Mother's Day weekend. Last year, we tried a family camp located about three hours or so from here. We loved it so much, we decided to make it an annual tradition. The camp does a special weekend for Mother's Day every year. It's really a wonderful place. It's actually kind of the Wisteria Lane of camps, I have to say. Everyone is happy and smiling, the children all play well together....everyone obviously drank the punch on the way in.

e and E on the "kissing bridge"

There are non-stop things for us to do during the weekend. Arts and crafts, bonfires, tea-time and massages for the moms, hiking, boating (when weather permits), horseback riding, a zip line, archery, educational hikes, lots of other activities for the kids, you name it. Everyone stays in cabins and the camp does all the cooking. We eat with the same people every day so we get to know each other fairly well. There's lots of music and dancing around the tables when it's time to clean up the dishes (which we do ourselves), and lots of crazy activities/games to bond kids and parents. We had a blast. Sunday morning (Mother's Day), at breakfast, all the kids are asked to go to the kitchen. They then all come pouring out at once carrying flowers for their moms. I usually have a hard time holding back the tears at that one!

E climbed up the bank a lot faster than his mom!

Even though it's a long drive there, it's so much fun. This year, though, we froze! Friday night when we got there, we hardly needed a jacket. During the night, we had a great thunderstorm which, of course, brought the cold weather and made it VERY windy Saturday. I think it was in the 40s all day on Saturday, then into the low 30s Saturday night. While the cabins have heat, they are not insulated very well! So, the kids were fine, but I was freezing! It even SNOWED Sunday morning! After breakfast I took the kids on a long (cold!) hike around the lake - hoping that the cold air and long walk would put them straight out for the long drive home. No such luck! e slept for less than an hour and E merely rested his eyes for about 20 minutes. Oh well. The intent was good!

Busy Weekend

2010-05-03T09:55:00.007-04:00

Wow, did we have a busy weekend! The weekend before finals, each semester, my university has a big party for all the students. This party includes lots of inflatable things to jump on, a band, lots to eat, and other stuff to keep everyone busy. It turned out to be a perfect day, so I took the kids over. They had a blast jumping, running, and doing everything they could to burn off energy. That evening, my Dean had an end of the year picnic at her house. The kids were absolutely exhausted by the time they got home that night!

E at one of the inflatables at the partye about to go through the obstacle course inflatable at the party

Yesterday was the last day of Sunday school for the year. There is always a big potluck lunch on the last day and other ways to celebrate the day. After the usual morning service, the kids got to paint one of the ceiling tiles for each classroom, then we had a talent show and the potluck. E did a magic trick which was actually pretty cool. Unfortunately, I had to help him with it...I felt bad for being the only parent having to help with their kid, but he had to ask an audience member to cut a string. If that audience member accidentally pulled on the string, it could have ruined the trick, so I told him to just call on me as his assistant. He was really excited about the whole trick. e didn't want to do anything this year...maybe next year.

E doing his magic trick

After Sunday school, the kids got a great opportunity to meet a concentration camp survivor. This woman was in a camp that did a lot of plays and operas. She played the cat in 55 performances of an opera called Brundibar. So, my university put on the opera with her as a guest. Fortunately, it's a lighter opera and is more kid oriented. It's about an organ grinder who has monopolized a city corner by bullying everyone away. A couple of kids need to get some money to buy milk for their mother and they want to sing on the same corner but keep getting bullied away. Finally the animals (cat, dog and bird) rally the help of other children to help them and overpower the bully - who runs home crying. They are finally able to get milk for their sick mother. It's a cute play, but of course, I was thinking about the origins of it and of this woman playing the same role 55 times in a concentration camp...all I did was cry through the whole performance! Out of 62 children in her camp, only four survived. Such a sad story. But, it gave me a great opportunity to talk to the kids about the Holocaust and how terrible it was and how few survivors are still around.

e and E with the Holocaust survivor they met...she wrote a book which she signed -- a copy for each of them.

All in all, a really fun weekend!

Just Thinking

2010-04-29T11:12:00.003-04:00

I've been thinking more and more about either adopting another child or becoming a foster parent. I have no idea whether I could handle another child financially or otherwise, but of course I could. Foster parenting becomes more of a challenge when I start to think about the details, like what to do when we want to travel, and the fact that I may have to give the child back to a not-so-good home. That would just rip me apart. Of course, adoption has its challenges, too. It's probably more money than I want to spend right now, and would take a long time. I'm not getting any younger. So, I'm leaning towards the foster parenting. Has anyone done it? Any feedback on the process, challenges, etc? I am fully prepared to try to adopt a foster child if it works out. Isn't that cheaper than going through an agency? Not that it's all about the money. I just see so many kids out there that need a better home, and I think ours is pretty great.

Diary...or Something Like That

2010-04-21T10:12:00.002-04:00

Yesterday, e found a little book that I had given each of the kids to make pictures in, scribble, draw, write, whatever. We called them diaries. She found hers on the counter and says "hey, Mom! I found my diarrhea!" I just couldn't stop laughing.

Purging

2010-04-19T10:57:00.002-04:00

I've been doing a major purge of the house...it feels good. When the guys were working on finishing my basement, I took the opportunity to spend a morning with them and go through all the stuff down there. It has been a storage hell and it was nice to have help getting all the junk out. I ended up having him take a truckload of stuff to Good will and probably another truckload of trash away. There's still a bunch of stuff down there, but at least it's more manageable now. I'm ordering the carpet for down there today, so I should be able to get it organized once the carpet has been laid. I'm looking forward to having that space more usable.

I've also been going through my clothes. Already, I've given away about 9 trash bags full of clothes to Good will. All the winter stuff in larger sizes that I know I will never need again. Boy, it's really great to be able to say that. I put together three more bags just last week, and I'm sure I'll be able to come up with a few more by the time I finish cleaning everything out. I guess this says something about what a clothes horse I've been...But there was a lot of stuff, too, that I looked at and just decided that I had been keeping too long - regardless of the size. I suppose I could sell the clothes on eBay or something, but I just don't want to deal with it. I just want it all out of the house.

I went out with Rodney again this past weekend. This was the guy I went out with about five months ago. Between then and now a lot has happened with both of us, but we've stayed in touch via email. His son had a very aggressive form of cancer (doing better now but not completely out of the woods), and he's got some business stuff going on. Anyway, I really do like him as a person. There was no lack in the conversation and I think he's probably a fun guy. I'm just not feeling anything...no physical attraction.

I really need to get back on eH now that I've lost some weight. I'm feeling much better about myself, but I still think I have quite a bit of weight to lose. I had plateaued at a 35 pound loss forever, but this past week, I think I have finally moved off the plateau. I was down almost three more lbs on the scale this morning. I guess it's time to repost some pictures on eH and try again...I think I look a lot different (thinner and got a new do!), and we all know that with men, it's all about the visual.

The kids had a great weekend. I took them to the trampoline place up the street on Saturday because it was just kind of a cold day. After Sunday school, e had her soccer practice and then I took them to the rock wall gym. They slept well last night! The soccer practice is with ALL four year-olds. It's so funny to watch them play. They do a few training type activities and then they play three-on-three (not a lot of rules at this point, though). All goes well until a butterfly happens to fly across the field. Then the attention is no longer on the ball but on chasing the butterfly.

Lost Teeth

2010-04-12T09:55:00.003-04:00

Well, E finally lost his first top tooth. He was SO excited about it! I picked him up from his after-school program last Friday and he ran up to me with a plastic bag with his tooth in it. Of course, I noticed the space even before he showed me the bag. The Tooth Fairy (whose name is Toothie - we know this because she left a note when he lost his first tooth) left a dollar and a coin from the Isle of Mann. The Tooth Fairy always leaves a coin from the last country she visited along with money (it's a good thing I've saved coins from many of my travels!). The second tooth on top will probably be the next to go....maybe in a couple months or so.

Poor e got strep again last week (she had it about three weeks ago, too). She was complaining of a sore throat Wednesday night and I noticed that her tonsils were also about as big as golf balls. So I took her to see the doctor on Thursday and kept her home with me on Friday. She really didn't feel too bad, but I didn't want it to get any worse. They put her on a different antibiotic this time that is sending her to the bathroom regularly. The doctor told me to just give her some probiotic yogurt. Let's hope that does the trick. She was so tired on Friday, she fell asleep on the arm of the couch. So cute. She just couldn't make it any further.

e also started with soccer practice this weekend. She looks adorable in her little uniform and is having a lot of fun.

Hand Slapping

2010-04-05T12:16:00.004-04:00

Well, I've talked a little bit about how things have been challenging at work lately. Stupid bureaucratic stuff that would never happen in a corporation. First, I tried to get a study-abroad program approved. It took WAY longer than it should have and I lost my opportunity to offer the program this summer...and probably my opportunity to spend a good portion of the summer in Italy. The back and forth, back and forth process should have never happened, or at the very least, they should have told me to go ahead and advertise the program since we were so close. But no. Okay, fine. At least it was approved and I'll advertise it beginning next year.

BUT, I work for two different universities. My full time university and my part-time university. It's my part-time university that runs the program in Italy and I still want to try to fill the seats. I really only need to get ten people to go to justify my expenses. So, I tried to advertise it with my full time university...offer it as something that was offered by my other university but not yet endorsed by my full-time university. They said no. So, I went to the local Chamber of Commerce and asked if they would advertise the trip to the local population. They agreed to put an ad in the paper this week...seen by about 70K people. GREAT! Hopefully, we can get ten people to respond! The bad news is that when it came out over the weekend, it had the logo for my full-time university on it. So, D, one of the faculty members here who I'm having other battles with (which I will discuss in a minute), brings it to my Dean's attention...who, of course, sends the ad to me with a note attached. Obviously they are not happy. My only saving grace is that I really didn't tell the CofC to put my university's logo on the top and had no idea they were going to do so. Aaarrgh. Hand slapped again.

So, D is a faculty member who is very vocal about everything. You know the type. He's like a pitbull when he latches onto something. Sometimes he's right and sometimes he's not. He has decided that he is very against me teaching the online course that I teach in the summer. He's convinced that it is not in our students' best interest and he's doing everything he can to get it canceled. Suffice it to say that he's being a pain in the butt and his reasoning is not good. But, he squeaks a lot...and we all know what happens to the squeaky wheel. Hopefully, he will give up soon, but he remains a thorn in my side. It would be nice if he just decided to retire soon! But I suspect he will be here for a very long time.

On a positive note, the weather has been great and here are some new pictures of the kids! E is going to lose one of his top teeth very soon, so it looks like he's got a big space there. It's just the other teeth moving out of the way a little bit to make room!

e looking as beautiful as ever!e at the playground on the seesaw The neighborhood Easter egg toss...E and his partner won both competitions!The neighborhood egg race E and e on the patio

BAD Jew

2010-03-30T16:30:00.003-04:00

Okay, I'm a BAD Jew. I did not celebrate Passover this year with the kids. Yes, I DO believe it is extremely important for them to have these traditions, but I just didn't have the energy. There are very few Jews who live in this area, so I couldn't even join someone else. My University did have a seder, which I was REALLY happy to see, but it didn't start until 7:30 and I knew the kids just wouldn't have the attention span to stay up until 10:00 or so. The seder is already a long process. Growing up, we used to make it really fun...go right to the drinking, eating and singing parts. I'll have fun with it with my kids...hopefully next year I'll put a seder together and invite some of my gentile friends, or at least join the one at the University so we have more tradition in that area. They really are a wonderful part of growing up.

This morning, the first thing E said when he woke up was "Jesus loves me!" What? Where the heck did that come from? Apparently, all that time we're spending at the synagogue isn't quite doing the trick! He must have some religious friends at school who talk about Jesus a lot because he sometimes comes home asking about Jesus songs, etc. I don't say anything to him now, because he wouldn't really understand the difference in beliefs. I just tell him that I never learned the songs he's asking about.

I finally got my new camera so I'll be able to post some pictures soon. How much you wanna bet that I'll find my old one now!

Back in The Saddle

2010-03-26T14:14:00.003-04:00

Thanks, everyone, for all the support these last several weeks! I haven't told a lot of people about my surgery, so it's always nice to hear from you! Since I had the hernia fixed at the same time, I'm just telling most people that I just had hernia surgery.

I had an iron infusion (takes about an hour or so to get it through an IV) a couple weeks ago and have started to take a slow release iron pill (decided that part on my own since I was already taking two vitamins each day that should have given me over 200% of my iron, and they weren't doing the trick). All this seems to be helping. I have another iron infusion next week and I'll probably cancel the third. It's an hour each way to the hospital and I'm just tired of making the trip! I'd go if I felt like I needed it, but I'm pretty sure I'm over the hump.

I have to admit that I'm not 100% yet, but I'm pretty close. I've lost about 33 lbs from my high, so I should be bouncing off the walls. Still not quite there, but feeling SOOOO much better! Lordy, that was tough not being able to get off the couch. I don't know what people with chronic illnesses do to get through it.

The kids are doing great. I lost my camera several weeks ago, so I don't have a lot of pictures to upload. I just ordered a new one (finally gave up on finding my other one any time soon -- it's probably in one of the black holes I sometimes refer to as my house or office) and it should be here next week. So, more pictures coming!

I'm not sure if I gave updates from Valentine's Day and e's birthday party. For Valentine's Day, E was so excited that he bought me a gift. He excitedly gave me a small heart shaped box of chocolates, the ones that have four or five pieces of chocolate in it. When I opened it, there were two half eaten pieces left. So cute. I could tell he was just so happy to have a present for me that I told him how happy I was and gave him a hug and a kiss. So thoughtful of him to save the two half-eaten pieces for me!

e had her birthday party at the local roller skating rink. She had a Tinkerbelle theme this year. I will miss these years that her themes can be Disney characters!

They are both growing in leaps and bounds. I keep telling them that they need to stop growing, but they continue to ignore me. Oh well.

I'm in the process of having my basement finished. They are almost done! I'm so excited with the progress. Today, I spent the morning with them going through all the stuff that should go into storage, go to Goodwill, or go in the trash. It's SO nice to have help with these things. With their help, I accomplished in one morning what probably would have taken me several weeks. Okay, let's face it. It might have taken me several years! It's nice to purge. They took a whole truckload of stuff to Goodwill.

Where Have I Been?

2010-03-17T10:02:00.002-04:00

Well, things haven't been going quite as planned for the past month or so. I guess because I really had two surgeries in one, my recuperation period was a little longer. I was in constant pain for about three weeks...that has finally subsided, but I have been in and out of the hospital for various reasons for the past several weeks. Mostly from still having pain that has lasted longer than it should have. Last week, they determined that I probably have developed an ulcer. Not totally uncommon with the bypass surgery. They prescribed a super-duper antacid which has really helped. Stupid me, on the way home from that appointment, I decided to have some pasta with tomato sauce. BAD idea. I was in excruciating pain for about 15 minutes while it made its way through my system and past my stomach.

But the fatigue is still here. So much so that I have hardly been able to walk across the room without needing to sit down and rest. Last Monday I couldn't stand it anymore and checked myself back into the ER. Unfortunately, that was my birthday. Not a great way to spend it! They did lots and lots of tests and the only thing that's coming up odd is my iron level. I've been taking supplements and should be getting more than 200% of the recommended daily intake, but apparently it's not absorbing. So, now I have to figure out how to get it. I am going back to the hospital later today (hopefully, they can fit me in) to get an iron injection. Hopefully, my energy will come back with that, but the question still remains how I will get it in the future. I'll have to ask them about that when I see them.

So, I'm still here...just trying to get my energy back. The kids have been great...very helpful and understanding, but they want their mom back, too!

I'm Tired.....

2010-03-03T10:09:00.003-05:00

I'm guessing this is part of the post-surgery recovery process, but I'm tired! REALLY tired. By three o'clock in the afternoon, I'm ready to go to bed! After I pick up the kids, all I can do is sit on the couch. I don't even have enough energy to cook dinner for them. The poor kids have eaten chicken nuggets for about two straight weeks, now!

One of the problems that people run into after this surgery is not getting enough protein to get energy levels up. I'm pretty sure I'm getting in the appropriate amount of protein. Anyway, I sent an email to the online support group to get some input. I'm also still having some pain....I think mostly from the hernia, but not totally sure since all the surgery was around the same area. At least I'm off the heavy duty narcotics and controlling it with Tylenol. Add to that the fact that I got my period yesterday, so period pains are back. Lovely.

This has been a challenging year. I seem to have had one health challenge after another. Nothing major, thank goodness, but when you add them all up, it gets exhausting. Let's start back in June. I broke my foot. Into the cast for three months. When I got out of the cast, the plantar fasciitis started to come back with a vengeance. Then I got a viscous flu bug which lasted three freakin' weeks. Then Shingles. Then the plantar fasciitis got worse. So bad, I couldn't walk at all on that foot. So, back into the cast. Then the double whammy surgery. I'm ready to be a new person...or at least back to normal!

I'm also tired of fighting stupid battles at work. I seem to hit one brick wall after another when I want to do something and there have been several instances of this this year. I sometimes feel like there is some sort of target painted on my forehead that everyone can see. I've lost a lot of motivation to go above and beyond around here. Since I'm tenured, I think that's okay. I will continue to do what I need to do but am now starting to focus more on the things that are more important to me. I guess no one said I had to love my job. I envy people who do. I think part of it also is that I don't think I'm a typical academic, so it's very difficult for me to find people I would like to befriend. Maybe that's just something that happens as we grow older, anyway. But, it's times like this when I miss having my family close by.

Oh, and the bill. I got the bill from the hospital. Not sure it's complete yet. They just sent me a letter telling me the total so far and letting me know that they will be submitting it to my insurance company. How much do you think it was? Now, before I tell you, let me say that the hospital does a really good job at making sure the surgery will be paid for by the insurance company before actually performing it. Thank goodness for that, but I'll feel better when I get the official word. Okay, the number was........over $63,000! Holy shit! How can anyone without insurance afford to get sick? Yikes.

Surgery Follow-up

2010-02-24T09:43:00.003-05:00

Well, I'm finally back among the living. I can't say I'm here 100% yet, though. Still taking a lot of pain meds. The recuperation has been slower than I expected - but, for a number of reasons. Most people who get this surgery are in the hospital just overnight. I was in for four days. I requested the third day from my doctor so I could have one extra day on my own without the kids depending on me (they, btw, have been really great through this whole thing).

The fourth day was unexpected. While they were doing the surgery, they noticed that I had a "pretty significant" hiatal hernia. So they fixed that while they were in there. I ended up really having two surgeries at once and I think the double whammy led to a slower recuperation time. While I was in the hospital, I was also running a fever of about 102 and my lungs collapsed a little. That's why I had to stay the third night.

I finally got home Monday afternoon. I felt a little better every day, but didn't feel like I was taking huge steps. By Saturday, I was still in a lot of pain and feeling weak, so I checked myself into the ER. Fortunately, everything was fine. It appears that I tried to get off the pain meds a little too early and then got a little dehydrated. I am now being a lot better at keeping up with the meds and starting to feel a lot better. I'm hoping to be back to myself (or better!) in the next week or so.

The kids have been great. They really understand that I'm still in pain and that I don't have a lot of energy and have been really helpful. E has helped me bathe e and both have helped me with the laundry. I'm so lucky to have such great kids.

e turned four yesterday! I can't believe it. She's been SO excited for her birthday and has been asking me for the last month when she was going to turn four. Every day, she has been showing me how big she's getting. So cute. She wanted a two-wheeled Razor scooter, so now she and E have matching scooters - one pink, one blue. I also bought a couple presents for E to give to her. He was really excited about that, too. They really love each other a lot.

Challenges For The Next Week

2010-02-05T12:56:00.003-05:00

Okay, so the surgery is scheduled for next Friday...one week from today. Wouldn't you know that a million things come up at the last minute? I'm buying a new property today and have someone working on getting it into shape for rental. Let's hope I don't have to actually show it while I'm under the weather...I'm sure I can get a friend to go over there for me. I've also decided to get my basement finished. Of course, I have them starting on Monday. Chances are they will be knocking down walls and doing all kinds of sawing/drilling while I'm home. Well, at least they'll be in the basement. With good drugs, I'll be able to sleep through a train wreck. Add to that the million things going on at work and trying to hide this from everyone and things get a little challenging!

I rented a recliner to put in my bedroom so the kids don't try to sleep with me. I've never rented anything from RentACenter, but you would think that I was asking for the moon! They practically wanted my right arm and promises to hand over my first born in the application process. FOUR references! I wonder if they even called them. My credit is nearly perfect, so this seemed a little over the top to me! I actually just felt like a real low-life going through the process. It had a huge yuck factor!

Oh, and did I mention the problem with my foot? This has been going on WAY too long but will probably be one of the most challenging parts about my recuperation. In the summer of 2008, I slipped and fell by a pool while vacationing with the kids in Halifax, Nova Scotia. Of course, this was the first time I had decided to travel with them on my own. I broke a toe, sprained my ankle and tore my acl. It turned out to be the trip from hell since I could no longer push a stroller, carry my luggage or anything. Anyway, I won't go into a lot of details about that trip, but my foot hasn't been the same since. Following all the therapy, etc I had to do to get the toe, ankle and knee better, I got tendonitis/bursitis on my heel. Three cortisone injections, pt, and several rounds of oral steroids later, things are not getting a whole lot better, but offering temporary improvement. THEN I got the stress fracture on my foot -- yes, very close to where the broken toe was. So, into the cast I go. Three months later, the foot is better, the tendonitis/bursitis are also better. Another month later, the tendonitis/bursitis are back with a vengeance.

If you've ever landed on a pea or something really small on your heel, then you know how my foot feels all the time. My podiatrist made orthotics for me and that hasn't helped either. By the end of the day I can no longer walk on the foot or put any weight on it at all. So, she put me BACK in the walking cast. UGH. The hope is that it will get a little better, or at least tolerable until I'm feeling better from the surgery. Thank goodness I'll be getting some good pain meds with the surgery, but this may be the next part of my body to go under the knife...soon.

Thanks and The Last Supper...

2010-02-02T16:11:00.003-05:00

Thanks, everyone, for reminding me that not everyone likes their job. One of my students, today, shared an article that said that approximately 55% of people are satisfied with their jobs and the number appears to be decreasing. If someone asked me if I was satisfied with my job, I guess I would have to respond "yes" mainly because it allows me to do the personal things I want -- spend time with the kids, have a flexible schedule, and travel. So, yes, I'm satisfied with it because it is a means to an end and I know there are a lot of worse places to be. I'll stick with it. You're right, job security is a REALLY nice thing.

e's birthday is coming up and I've got some planning to do! We're going to have it at the local roller skating rink, but I still haven't bought the invitations and ordered the cake. Definitely have to get going on that!

It turns out that my surgery will be sooner than I thought. I went to the doctor last week for another of the million check-ups that I have to do for this surgery and I was ready to beg for a first week of March date. Typically, it is eight weeks after meeting with the surgeon and I was asking for five weeks so I could do it just before spring break and have some time to recuperate without taking too much time off. Well, he came in and said "how about February 12th?" Feb 12th!? Yikes! That's two weeks away! Okay, I'll make it work. In a lot of ways, earlier is better, so I have more time to recuperate and get used to the new me before traveling this summer.

So, I start my liquid diet tomorrow (they said I should do it for two weeks, but also said it was okay if I only did it for about eight days) and will have my stomach detached in a week and a half. I'm sure, in 20 years, bariatric surgery will sound like an absolutely barbaric method. But, it mitigates so many health issues and has been successful for so many. I am on the very low end of being accepted for the surgery. While I feel pretty fat, I am not morbidly obese like I see so many are. I wanted to have the surgery because I have a family history of heart disease. My mom had her first heart attack when she was not much older than me and she died when she was 68 after many years of problems. That scares the sh*t out of me. I totally see myself turning into her. I really want to lead a healthier life and provide a positive example for my children. AND, I want to be around for them for a LONG, long time...hopefully, without them seeing me very sick. So, I decided now was the time.

I'm not telling very many people. I told my assistant here, because I'm going to call in sick that next week and I want her to cover for me. I'm not telling my Dean or most of my family. I told some friends, and my brother. He's been really supportive of many of the things I've done -- including having children on my own.

Now the challenge is getting someone to watch the kids for the three days that I'm in the hospital. I asked my brother if he and his girlfriend could come down for the weekend, but I'm not optimistic. He's been off on a sailing race for the past two months and gets back to the U.S. on Thursday. He had to cut his race short because his sciatic was bothering him so much. So, he needs to see the doctor as soon as possible. Also, since he hasn't been home for the past two months, I'm not sure he'll want to jump in the car so quickly for four hours to spend a few days here. We'll see. I'm sure either of my sisters would come down, but I don't want to tell them. I just don't think they would be so supportive of my decision. I may have to hire someone to watch the kids....hopefully, the same woman who watched them last week overnight is available again. So many details to work out!

In the meantime, I'll have my "last supper" tonight...sushi with the kids. Yum.

Disenchantment

2010-01-25T10:06:00.003-05:00

I think I have a four or five year limit on a job before I get bored. Actually, I think it's more like two years. I've been at my current university for almost seven years and am becoming more and more disenchanted with the way decisions are made. Most things happen at a snail's pace, which is typical for a university. Everyone needs to have their say on every little detail. If this were a corporation, we would have fallen into bankruptcy ages ago. It seems that people at the top need to take more authority rather than letting people argue for five months over how one particular sentence should read. It's just inane. Then there are other decisions which are just made off the fly without any research. It just doesn't make sense.

My department hired a new Dean a couple years ago. No one thinks she does a very good job. Everyone seems to like her as a person, but there are a bunch of things lacking.

So, as things build up, I begin to lose motivation to really go out of my way around here. I am beginning to understand why people start to become more detached after tenure. It is not because they are lazy (although that is true quite often), but it is often because there is a feeling of lack of power....the feeling that no matter what I do, it's not really going to make that much of a difference, so why do it at all. Seems I can focus my energies on consulting and other things to make more money.

I have to also say that I've never really loved academia. I came back to the university life from the corporate world so that I could have a flexible lifestyle - which I thought was very important as a single parent. So, I left the big paycheck behind. I don't regret it, but also one of the reasons why I chose this university was because they did not have huge publishing requirements (I really do not enjoy the publishing process) and I could keep my fingers in the corporate pie. A lot of universities frown on professors doing a lot of consulting on the side. This one encourages it. Of course, you can only do so much since the primary goals are to teach and do research. There is only so much time in a day.

I have no plans to leave this place anytime soon. I live about a mile away from my office, and the kids' schools are within that mile, too. It's also a wonderful environment in which to raise them. Since we are in the middle of nowhere, there are not a lot of drugs and gangs and such to worry about. So, all that is really good. The academic lifestyle is also good. I don't think my job is very difficult, although it is very busy during the semester. I still have lots of time to spend with the kids and focus on what is important. I get to travel a lot with the kids which I think is also important. This summer, we will spend a month or two in Italy...I'm hoping to make that a regular thing. I'm sure they'll become fluent in Italian far before I do.

So, I'm just feeling like things aren't going anywhere here. I've already built a great entrepreneurship program for the University, received several grants totaling in the hundreds of thousands of dollars, and just got a $1M donation from someone to help build the program...it is hoped that that million will turn into several million over the next few years so that they can give me a chair. I just feel like I do and do and do and don't get a whole lot back. I think that's just the way of academia. The possibility of doing more consulting on the side is looking more and more attractive. I will be attempting to pursue more of that in the future.

I took the kids skiing for the first time this weekend. Saturday, they went tube sledding and had an absolutely blast. e was on the young side to go down, but I knew that once she went down the hill once, she'd want to go again and again...they both LOVED it. Yesterday, we played hooky from Sunday school and went back to the resort to go skiing. The kids did great. E still needs to master his snowplow a little better, but by the end of their one hour lesson, e was going down no problem. She was able to stop and even turn by the end of the day. I'll try putting her a little higher on the hill so she can practice her turns some more next time! I picked E's donor because of his athletic abilities (and my lack thereof), but it looks like e is going to be my athletic one and E is going to be my brainiac. Still not a bad combination!

Oh, and poor e is having growing pains. I read up on it and apparently doctors don't know what causes them. They are worse on days when the child is more active and the pain only occurs at night. All very descriptive of what e is experiencing. As soon as we lie down, she wants me to massage her legs. Then she starts crying because she hurts so much. Saturday night she woke up twice during the night crying. I've been giving her some Tylenol with does the trick, but I hate to see her in such pain! Poor baby. It's tough growing up!

Just Yuck...

2010-01-04T10:16:00.006-05:00

e looking a little diva-ish!

E and e at E's school holiday party -- the Gingerbread man came for a visit!

A little warning that there might be a little TMI ahead....

When I told people that I was going to have children on my own, so many told me that it would be a very difficult road. So far, I haven't found it very difficult. Sure, there are definitely tough times, but for the most part, it's a joy a minute. However, I would say the absolute hardest part about being a single parent is when *I* get sick. Taking care of the kids when they are not feeling well is easy, although sometimes physically or mentally exhausting. But when I'm sick and I can't even keep up with them, it is definitely difficult.

One of the joys of motherhood is when the kids get stomach viruses. Oh joy. So, New Year's day, we went over to a neighbor's house for pork and sauerkraut (this is a new concept to me since I grew up in CT). Both E and e had a great time playing over there. About 5:00 rolls around and e jumps into my lap saying that she has a belly ache. I thought she was just tired since she was playing pretty hard with the other kids. So, I just held her for awhile and tried to get her to go to sleep. After about fifteen minutes or so, she starts crying that her stomach was really hurting. So, I took the kids home, rubbed her belly, and told her to rest for a bit. About an hour later she runs to the bathroom and throws up. Thank goodness e is pretty good about getting to the toilet when she has to get sick. Most of the time she makes it. Poor thing continued to throw up until about 2:00 in the morning. Most of the time she made it to the bathroom. While she was sleeping, of course, she didn't. I put lots of towels down on my bed so she wouldn't get it all over. Yuck. Poor thing must have thrown up a dozen times before her stomach settled down.

Vomit is one of the most disgusting things to clean up because it really smells awful. I remember one time when the kids were younger when I had a stomach virus. In the middle of the night, I was praying to the porcelain god, laid back down in bed with the kids, and ten minutes later, E threw up on my head. Not the nicest thing to deal with after being sick myself. Finally cleaned up most of that, but was very thankful the cleaning lady was coming the next morning. I'm not sure she was so happy to be there! The good thing is that when the kids are little, their vomit isn't too bad. Mostly cottage cheese since they drink so much milk. Still, it's pretty gross.

But, as they get older and eat more variety in the solid foods, it gets really disgusting. Well, the bug that e had must have had a 48 hour incubation period because last night when we got home from having dinner with some friends, E started to complain about his stomach hurting. Now, E is quite the prima donna when it comes to ailments. With the smallest cut or scrape comes lots of moaning and groaning. I think it is part of the male dna to complain and complain about ailments. So, when he started to complain about his stomach hurting, I didn't think a whole lot about it, but in the back of my mind I was hoping he didn't have the same thing e had. I rubbed his belly and told him to go to bed and try to go to sleep. An hour later, he wakes himself up by vomiting all over. e wakes up and starts crying because she wants me to hold her, E has puke all over the place. I get all his blankets in the wash, get him in the shower, clean up the floor as best I can. Meanwhile, e is still screaming....E gets washed up, then it starts coming out the other end. I figure he's about empty by now! He throws up one more time in the sink. I was just happy that his didn't last as long as e's....and that he didn't throw up on my head this time. He felt fine this morning and went to school. I'm going to give it another 48 hours and hope that I don't get it next!

Ah, the joys of motherhood.

On a lighter note, the kids had a great Christmas. One of my friends takes the kids to the dollar store every year, so they can pick up something for me. It's so sweet. So, this year, E got a bowl of seashells for me and a bag of decorative glass pieces. e got a small ball for me, and also a bag of decorative glass. They were so excited to see me open the presents they had bought for me. E also had some time to shop at school. I gave him $20 to shop in the school store for presents for e and me...with a little extra money if he wanted to buy something for himself or anyone else. He bought me a fabric rose, a plastic ring (which also had a rose in it), a little blue heart crystal (faux) paper weight, and a plastic cross necklace. Bless his heart! Even though I would never wear a cross, I did wear it under my clothes one day because it was so sweet of him to buy it for me. I doubt they had any Star of Davids! He bought a sippy cup for e and a couple gifts for himself. He was so excited about all the gifts that they were opened as soon as he brought them home. I hope he always has this excitement for giving!

Celebrating Christmukah

2009-12-17T15:04:00.006-05:00

e with her menorah (I can't figure out how to turn this right side up!)

E climbing the ladder at the rock wall climbing gym

e out sledding last weekend

E and e in front of our tree.

I have been taking every opportunity to take inventory of all the gifts and do some wrapping. I'm done shopping for the kids and pretty much done shopping for my friends' gifts. It's a challenge to get everything right. Eight gifts each for Hanukah, then at least three for Christmas. Every year, I say I'm not going to go overboard. Every year, I think I do! The Hanukah gifts are not all big. They get one big one and the rest are little or medium sized gifts. The important thing is that the each gets the same number!

E's big Hanukah gift was a DSi. He LOVES it. I didn't even think about the fact that it is a huge investment! The DSi itself is not cheap, but then you have to buy lots of games! At about $20-$30 a pop that really adds up fast! I guess the games will have to come slowly.

e's big Hanukah gift was a talking doll - Amazing Allyson. Allyson responds to your voice, can talk to you, do what you tell her, you can play games with her and even have somewhat of a conversation with her. Voice recognition is a pretty amazing thing. So, yesterday I had to go out of town for a meeting. I got back around 9:00 last night to find a note on the table from E. It said something like this: Mommy, I'm sorry I ruined e's toy. I know you work hard to buy us nice presents and I will appreciate that more in the future. Apparently, E and e decided to decapitate Amazing Allyson! A $50 doll goes right into the trash. I guess the babysitter had a conversation with them about how Mommy has to work to buy them presents (not sure what she was doing during the decapitation process). You can bet the kids and I had a similar conversation about respecting each others toys!

She Has a Zucchini!

2009-12-09T10:27:00.002-05:00

The kids sometimes say the funniest things. Two days later, (even sometimes two hours later!) I can't remember what they said. So, I'm going to try to document them...I'll add to this as I think about it.

1. 12/8/09 we were watching tv and a cartoonized commercial comes on. Some of the women in the commercial had on bathing suits. e says "that lady needs to put a top on!" E says "No, she has a zucchini!" Yes, zucchini and bikini are pretty close!

2. several months ago we were driving past a cemetery...e says "look mom, that's where people get married!"

Living in a Quaint Town

2009-12-07T12:34:00.006-05:00

There are so many things that make this town very strange to me (see earlier post - The Local View http://theeshaveit.blogspot.com/2009/08/things-i-see-in-central-pennsylvania.html), and yet so many things that make it so quaint. Last week I took the kids on a horse and buggy ride to dinner. The University sponsors the horse and buggies to get the students to go downtown for holiday shopping. So, I took advantage of the opportunity. The kids had a blast. We got on the buggy and rode it downtown, had dinner, enjoyed the sites a little, but it was pretty cold out, so we rode the buggy back to campus. It was a lot of fun and something I look forward to doing with them each year.

Some big news...Last weekend I had a date....I know those of you who actually know me are now reading very attentively....maybe even those of you who don't know me very well. I joined eHarmony about six months ago. Corresponded with one guy for awhile and at the last minute he decided there was something in my profile that didn't sit well with him. Coincidentally, this was the same time that I told him that I used anonymous donors for my children and that I had never been married. So, I waited awhile and was recently contacted by someone else (I decided not to be the aggressor here and just be open to meeting people). Recently, I was contacted by another man, I'm going to call him Rodney. I call him Rodney because he kind of reminded me of Rodney Dangerfield! Not so much the looks department, but his accent...they must have both grown up around the corner from each other.

If you read Care's posts, you will note that awhile back she gave an overview of what it's like to do online dating...and how truthful men are...or are not. So, here are the details. The date was okay. I actually really enjoyed his company, but of course there are always some things that hit the radar. He was definitely older than he claimed. Okay, not a big deal...He was severely overweight...I don't know that I have the right to complain about this given that I need to lose quite a bit of weight, too. I am actually going through the process of getting bariatric surgery soon, so I'm looking forward to losing all that excess weight. I am at the lowest end of being accepted for the surgery so it's not like have have 200 pounds to lose. I think Rodney does - or close to it. Still, I wanted to keep an open mind. Personality should be the most important thing.

He's been extremely successful. He told me about how with his last company he had two planes, an 18000 square foot house, was number 8 on Inc's list of successful companies, palled around with Ronald Reagan, the whole uber-rich thing. A series of events in his personal life led him to have to be Mr. Mom for several years which, along with the recession of the 80s, caused his company to tank. He says he lost everything. Now, "everything" I think is quite different from what most people think. Meanwhile, he drives a car that costs well over $100k and has three more fairly expensive cars at home. He has five kids, four of which are his biologically, the fifth one he adopted. An interesting story but suggests his values are in the right place.

So, I've agreed to go out with him again, although I don't see any chemistry between us. I also think that chemistry is sometimes something that develops over time, so that is why I want to give him a chance. At this point in my life, though, I'm not one to put up with a lot of BS...I say it how it is. I'm going to gently encourage him to lose some weight next time I see him. Not so much for appearances, but mostly for his health. I really don't want to get involved with someone who is going to be dead in five years.

One Hundred Hugs

2009-11-23T12:07:00.005-05:00

E LOVES to get dressed up...he said he looked like a "man."

e, showing off her face paint last weekend.

E at Tae-Kwon-Do practice

I measured E again this weekend, and he's grow another almost two inches in the last three months. He is six years old and one month and is four feet two inches tall. e has also grown over the past few months but has not hit her big growth spurts yet. Still, she is tall for her age. I am raising a couple of giants.

Saturday mornings are the one time we can sleep in. The kids often end up in my bed at some point during the night anyway, so we get to do a little cuddling in the morning, instead of me trying to get them out of bed and ready for school. This past Saturday, E came in to snuggle with me and decided to give me a hundred hugs. So sweet. When we got to about 50, I asked if the hugs came with kisses...and, they did! So, fifty more hugs with kisses. I need to figure out how to bottle that sweetness so I can pour it on him when he turns 13.

Saturday afternoon I took E and e along with a couple of the neighborhood girls to a local playground. Usually, this playground gets a pretty good clientele, but there were these two women there with their kids who were clearly from the other side of the tracks. When we got there, I kept hearing one of them yelling at her son, calling him a liar, and just barking orders at him. The two moms just sat on the bench while their kids (I think there were a total of four of them) played.

At one point the two girls (C & M, who are in fourth grade) that I brought were going on one of the slides and one of the woman's daughter, we'll call the daughter PB (because she had a plumber's butt), kept telling the other kids not to follow her. C & M, of course just told her that they just wanted to go on the slide. When I saw that there were some problems brewing, I went over and quietly told C, M and E to go on the bigger slides which were better anyway. I could tell that, as I was going over there to talk to them, the mom gave me a really dirty look. She obviously thought I was going to say something to her kid...and obviously she has to defend her kid often! So, C, M and E went onto the bigger slides. A little while later, PB decided to go on the bigger slides, too. She blocked the entrance to the slide and it was clear from the looks on all the kids faces that something was going on. So, I went over and asked if everything was okay. PB said yes and I told all the kids that the slides were for everyone to use. PB went down the slide and the others followed but didn't want to go on the slide anymore now that PB was there. That's when PB's mom comes over to me and tells me that she would appreciate it if I wouldn't tell her daughter what to do. I was a little confused so I told her that I didn't tell her what to do when the mom says that PB told her that I told her to get off the slide. So I told the mom what really happened, but it was clear there was no trying to rationalize with this woman. So, she said, "well, just don't talk to my daughter again." Okay, I won't talk to your daughter anymore.

WTF? At that point, I told all the kids that it was time to leave because we didn't want to stay where there were mean people. It was clear that PB was telling stories the whole time we were there. At one point, she was pointing to e and saying to her mom that e did something. Come on! What is a three year old going to do? The kids were constantly lying, using bad words, and just not playing well. The moms were encouraging the bad behavior, so it just wasn't worth staying around and watching a bad situation get worse.

THEN, Sunday afternoon I was in a store trying to buy some holiday gifts. I was at the end of an aisle and another woman was going towards me. Both of our carts didn't fit well, so (since were were just about a foot from the end of the aisle) I said that it might be easier if she moved back (into the open area). She said she was going in my direction, so I said okay and we continued to maneuver our carts until we could pass each other. That's when her daughter (probably around 18 years old or so) says "that was totally rude!" Again, WTF? Is it the holidays that bring out these crazies? Am I wearing some kind of label on my forehead that says if you're crazy, come interact with me? I always feel like saying something like "Merry fu*%ing Christmas to you, too" to them.....but I think I might get decked.

I will take one hundred hugs any day.

The Meeting

2009-11-18T12:55:00.002-05:00

So, I met with the President of the University yesterday. Since I only had a half hour with him, I knew many of my points would either not be made, or lost since it was was so hurried. I put together a five page letter that outlined the reasons why he should not go with the Committee's recommendation not to grant my Sabbatical.

Two of my main arguments were that there are no examples of successful petitions available to look at. When I went up for tenure, there were several examples of successful tenure packages in the library. I could look at them as a guide to give me an idea of how much information to include in my package. There are no such guides when it comes to letters requesting Sabbatical. But, I felt my strongest argument was the fact that the Committee's reasons for turning me down had nothing to do with what is listed in the Faculty Handbook as reasons to grant Sabbatical. Their reasons all focused on wanting more detail about why I chose Australia. In the Faculty Handbook, there is no reference to the fact that I need to justify the location I choose.

I still think it was an inside job and I have a pretty good feeling who led the charge against me. I am not at all confident that he will go against the Committee, though. I just don't think he has the spine, even though I tried to give him plenty of easy outs in my letter. I have a strong feeling I'm going to have to file a grievance on this one. I still may not be successful, but I think I need to scream loudly on this one...

Ready For The Good

2009-11-11T14:01:00.003-05:00

My new backsplash

I think it's true that bad luck comes in threes. My first bit of bad luck is still a little personal to discuss here, but number two and three came quickly thereafter. The Faculty Personnel Committee denied my petition for a sabbatical for the Spring of 2011. This REALLY pissed me off because they did not deny it for concrete reasons like we don't have the money, or we can't cover the classes while I'm gone. They said there was not enough information in it. So why the f#@k didn't they ask for more information!? They wanted more information on the research that I will be doing, why I chose Australia, and why this location helps with internationalism. Okay, isn't the answer to that last question fairly obvious? And I did tell them what research I'd be doing and why I chose Australia. All legitimate reasons. But, even if it wasn't enough information, why wouldn't they just come back and ask for more? That just really pisses me off. So, now I have a plan to meet with the President of the University. The Personnel Committee just makes a recommendation to him. Of course, he's never overturned their recommendations, but I'm hoping there's a first for everything. His decision is final. If he doesn't overturn it, I plan to file a grievance. This is so trivial, yet it could lead to such dissatisfaction on my part.

Number three....E got a little rash on his head last week...it turned out to be a fungus. So, I just put some antifungal cream on it and it was gone overnight. I broke out in a rash on my back and side at the same time. So, I figured it was the same fungus and treated it the same. Only mine got worse. I finally went to the doctor yesterday who confirmed I have shingles. If you've never had it before, I hope you never do! It feels like a constant jellyfish sting...itchy and stingy pain at the same time. She gave me some medication to help control it and some vicadin for the pain...apparently, I just have to let it run it's course since there is no cure.

I'm ready for more GOOD news!

Proud Mom

2009-11-10T09:17:00.005-05:00

e and E at Homecoming

E and e for Halloween. E was a ninja and e was an angel...but also a goldfish for trick-or-treating.

I met with E's teacher yesterday to get his grades. Academically, he is doing outstanding! He got A's in 15 of 17 categories. In kindergarten, A's mean "Advanced." There were a couple areas where he needed work, but even between the time the report card was filled out and I met with his teacher, one of those other categories had been mastered. I was SO proud of him! When we got home last night, I gave him a very serious look and told him that I needed to speak to him. I told him that I had met with his teacher to see how he was doing. E looks at me and he says with a big smile "I did goooood." I laughed and told him he didn't just to good, he did GREAT! So, I gave him $5 to put in his piggy bank and told him he could go anywhere he wanted for dinner the next night. So, tonight we are going out for Japanese. He wanted to pay with his $5 but I insisted he put it in his bank.

While we were at the mall last night, e said she wanted to get her ears pierced. So, off we went! She hardly flinched when they put the earrings in. I just hope she keeps them in! They really look adorable. E said he wanted to get his ear pierced, too, but I told him he can do it when he turns 18. It sounds like a double standard, probably, to him...and very hard to explain why he can't get his pierced when e can. Of course, there are also other boys his age and younger who have their ears pierced which makes it even more difficult to explain. Hopefully, he'll get past this one quickly!

Counting

2009-10-26T14:11:00.005-04:00

Well, I think I'm finally starting to see the end of this stupid flu. Almost two weeks and my chest is still congested and I'm still tired. UGH! I don't know how people with chronic illnesses do it. All I want to do is rest. I feel so bad that I just can't keep up with the kids. Thank goodness I'll be back to full energy soon.

e likes to count....a lot. I don't think it's an obsession in an autistic way. I think she just likes to count. I have a hard time getting her to go to sleep at night. At daycare, they still let her nap for a couple hours during the day. I have asked them to not let her sleep, but the most they will do is wake her up early. On days when she has an hour nap, she'll go to sleep around 9:00 or so. On days when she takes the full two hour nap, I can't get her to go to sleep until about 10:30. So, when we all lay down to go to sleep (I lay down with them until they fall asleep), E is out pretty quickly and e just wants to fool around. She knows she has to be quiet so E can sleep, so she always asks if she can count "in her head." Well, she hasn't quite gotten it that "in your head" means silently. So she whispers.

At her three year check-up, the doctor seemed really surprised that she could count to 12. Now, she can count really well. She can count to 29 without help, and then she just needs help figuring out which set of numbers comes next. She'll say ...28, 29...then wait for me to give her 30. Then she'll count to 39 and wait for me to give her 40. When she says her 30s and 40s they sound the same, so she always says "again?" when I say 40. I keep trying to tell her that 30 and 40 are different, but I guess since she can't hear a difference when she says it, she doesn't get that there is a difference. When we get to 100, she has figured out that we need to start again. I wonder if all this counting is helping her math skills. It appears to be helping her logic skills at the very least.

The Birthday Party That Was...And Wasn't

2009-10-19T08:57:00.004-04:00

Well, last Wednesday, I started to come down with something...feels like the flu, but I'm being told it was not H1N1...but he didn't do a swab. I had the fever, the sore throat and congestion, but not the aches...with all this paranoia about H1N1, when I went to the doctor's on Thursday, I was given a mask to wear in the office. I kind of felt like a leper! He gave me an antibiotic and some (really great) cough medicine to help me sleep at night. Here it is Monday, and I still feel like crap!

The two most challenging parts about being a single mom are trying to keep an eye on my children while in public places, and being sick. When I don't have the energy to keep up with them, or even get out of bed, for that matter, things are really tough. I slept all day Thursday and Friday...luckily, one of my friends picked up the kids from school and kept them for an hour or so before dropping them off at home. It's good to have good friends to help out when things are tough!

Saturday, I was still having trouble getting out of bed, but E's birthday party was scheduled for that evening. I put E in the shower and e in the tub to get them clean. E is finally doing everything for himself in the shower, so I didn't have to worry about him, but once I got e in the tub, I didn't have the energy to get her clean! So, I just laid down on my bed and let her soak for awhile. Then E comes out of the shower and says that he'll wash e's hair for me. How sweet. He got her all washed and dried and even helped to get her dressed.

Then E started complaining that he didn't feel well! Oh no...not on party day! He was running a temperature of over 102. I had no way to get in touch with all the party-goers, so I had to let the party go on. I decided to just tell people as they came in and let them make their own decision as to whether to stay or not.

E gets to the party, puts his bowling shoes on, and is all excited to get going when he breaks down and says that he wants to go home and that he's just not feeling well. And he was still running a fever, even after giving him some tylenol. So, I packed all the presents into the car and told everyone to please stay for the party even though E wouldn't be there. I had already paid for the lanes and ordered the pizza, so they may as well enjoy it. That was that...E had a wonderful birthday party (so I hear) without him. Poor guy.

His fever broke yesterday and was feeling fine, so he went back to school today. Phew. Glad he's feeling better. Still keeping my fingers crossed that e doesn't get what either of us went through!

Like Trying To Herd Cats

2009-10-12T16:24:00.007-04:00

For my own sanity, I try to make sure the weekends are full of activities...especially in the winter. Around here, there is very little to do once the snow falls and the days get shorter. The kids have swimming lessons on Saturday morning...this weekend was the last lesson until after the new year. Saturday afternoon, e started her dance class. She loves it, but it's a challenge to keep E occupied for the hour while we watch. Before her class, we spent a couple hours at my office to get some pictures of the kids. A friend of mine needed to take some medical looking pictures of kids getting shots to help promote her company. So, she asked if E and e could be the models. The kids had fun, but were well sugared by the time we finished!

Finding things we can all do together and where I can watch them to make sure they are safe is a challenge...I can't be in two places at once. I avoid taking them to amusement parks by myself because E is a runner...I turn my head for a split second and he is off. I can't run after him and watch e at the same time, so those kinds of activities have been off limits for awhile. E is starting to get better at staying close to me, but he still runs off. Only once have I had to call security (at a mall) to help me find him, but there have been plenty of other times that I was REALLY thankful I had a second set of eyes watching him and keeping up with him.

So, after e's dance class on Saturday, we went to a small local Fall Festival. I should have known the kids would be tired and that the sugar would take effect. Usually, they don't have bad reactions to sugar, but I think the fatigue was starting to kick in, too. As soon as we got there, we got some hot dogs and pizza for lunch. e ate half of her hot dog and them gave it to me. E looked at his pizza and said he didn't like it...these kinds of things make me crazy. I just bought the pizza...couldn't he have told me he didn't want it before I bought it rather than insisting that that's what he wanted? I waste enough food in a week to feed Somalia, I think! Actually, he is getting better, but it still makes me nuts! So, I gave E e's half of a hotdog. Then e claims that she wasn't done with it and she wants it back. But, E dropped it on the ground, so then neither one got it. Then e didn't want to share her french fries with E even after I told her that they were for everyone. So, E and e started fighting over the fries. You know, of course, what happens next. Yes, all the fries end up on the ground, too. So, after all the arguments about the fries, the hotdog and there were some arguments are who is sitting where, I said it was time to go.

Well, you would have thought I had just cut up her favorite stuffed animal. NOOOOOOOOO, I DON'T WANT TO GO HOME! The two of them started to run away from me as I was trying to get them into the car. It was like trying to herd cats. E is running in one direction while e is running in the other. I finally catch E and put him in the car while keeping my eye on e (luckily, the car was close by!). e continues to cry and scream that she doesn't want to go home. I go back to get her and chase her around the pizza stand a few times before a finally catch her. You can imagine how entertaining we were to everyone sitting and watching. Me running in one direction and then the other, trying to catch a screaming three year old. I found it pretty funny, too, which makes it more difficult to discipline them!

When I finally get her back to the car, E is hiding. So, after finding him and calming them down, we had a little talk about behaving and hiding and left the festival. Phew.

Sunday mornings we have Sunday school. When e is in the more advanced class, this will be a great time for me to have a couple hours to myself. Right now, though, she likes me to stay with her. So, I help around the temple. We tried another festival after Sunday school with much better success. The kids had a great time, then it was off to rock wall climbing (a regular post-Sunday school event) for a couple hours, then to a reptile show with a gourd hunt. A very busy Sunday but the kids were great. E's birthday party is this coming weekend, so that should keep them busy on Saturday! I got more RSVPs but still only about half at most.

Oh, and Bugsy died...he is now buried next to Redhead...maybe my flowers will grow better in the Spring.

Party-Goers

2009-10-09T14:04:00.002-04:00

Okay, E's birthday is coming up next week and I'm having his party next weekend, the 17th -- a Spongebob party at the bowling alley. I sent out about 30 invitations. The RSVP date was today and I think I've heard from about five people so far. WTH? How am I supposed to plan a party when people don't RSVP. Do I just assume they are coming? Assume that half of them will come? Now, I know people are busy, but come on! All they have to do is send me an email or give me a call. Maybe I sent the invitation out too early, but I figured three weeks was about the right time. I guess it's also enough time for people to forget about RSVPing. Maybe I'll have twenty phone messages on my machine when I get home. Ugh. Well, the good thing is that instead of goodie bags, this year, I got Target gift cards. I bought 23...hopefully, that will be enough. If it's too many, I can always use them myself. Ordering the pizza will be a challenge, though....

Go Fish

2009-10-05T14:02:00.004-04:00

Thanks to everyone for the condolences. In the Jewish religion, it is customary to bury a person within 24 hours of their death, or as close to that time as possible. So, her funeral was on Friday. Funerals are always a great time to see people you haven't seen in a long time. I saw some people I haven't seen in probably 30 or more years. She had quite an impact on so many.

When I returned home, I found we had two new pets for the house. A friend of mine, who had been watching the kids while I was away, bought E two fish - a white one with an orange head and a black one. They are appropriately named Redhead and Bugsy...Bugsy because the fish looks like it is bug-eyed. They apparently didn't last the night before they made it back to our house, though. I got a call from my friend saying they were sick (she was on speakerphone in the car, so the kids could hear her) and that she was going back to the store to get them some medicine. I guess the two fish she returned with looked very similar to the original two because E didn't know the difference. Hopefully, these two will last a little longer!

UPDATE Oct. 6: Redhead went belly up during the day. We buried him (her?) last night in the garden. E dug a hole and put some rocks on top for the gravestones. Then we said some words..."Redhead, you were a good fish. You were a good swimmer and a good pet. We loved you and we'll miss you. Goodbye, Redhead." E didn't know quite what to say, so he asked me to go first. After I gave my little epitaph, he said something similar and we went inside to eat dinner (don't worry, it wasn't fish!). He went out ten minutes later to check on Redhead...who was still dead....and say some more words. Very cute.

The Circle of Life

2009-10-01T08:46:00.005-04:00

e with Aunt A -- taken about a month and a half ago.

My aunt is on her deathbed. All of her children (except for one, and I can't figure that one out) have gathered for the vigil. She has been slowly withering away in the Hospice ward in the hospital for about five days now. She can no longer talk and just slowly goes downhill every day.

She is the last one of her generation. It's always weird to see an entire generation die. My dad (her brother) passed away six years ago. I was three months pregnant with my first child and he didn't even know. It was a very emotional time for me. One of their sisters died just before dad, from cancer. She had fought it for many years and just decided it wasn't worth the fight anymore. I think she was probably in her mid to late 70s. Dad was 88 so he lived a good life. Always healthy right up to the end. He had a brother who died probably in his 60s and my aunt, who is now in the hospital, just turned 84 a few days ago. Not the greatest way to spend a birthday, but at least she hit it.

In just less than two weeks, it will be 11 years since my mom passed away. Watching her die was, by far, the most painful thing that has ever happened in my life. She fought diabetes and heart disease for so many years. In the end, we took turns taking care of her, bathing her, feeding her, helping her go to the bathroom. It just really sucks getting old. Eleven years later and I still think of her pretty much every day. I still want to pick up the phone and call her...tell her about what the kids are doing...tell her about my day...tell her how much I love her. When she died, she was the last of her generation, too. No more of her brothers and sisters around.

Aunt A. (the one in the hospital) was always one of the most beautiful women I've ever seen. Even after five kids, she had a beautiful figure. In her old photo albums, I see her on her safaris in Africa...she looks just like a young Katherine Hepburn, but even more beautiful. Even as she age, she was one of the most beautiful women. I always wondered why she didn't go into modeling or something like that. I will always remember her that way and the wonderful things we did together.

When she was younger, my father gave her a book for her tenth birthday. Inside, he wrote her a poem. She has since framed the book (so we can't tell what book it is) to have the poem as a keepsake. Here is the poem (I believe my dad was 20 at the time):

9/27/1935
To A on her 10th birthday. From S.

To A in rounding out half a score:

From now till when
You are three-score-and-ten,
May this book's light
Guide your steps right;
For after the biblical three-score-and-ten,
You'll be what is known as "just an old hen."
And though surrounded by wine, men, and song,
If you stood on your ear, you couldn't do wrong.
The moral of this pretty ditty
Is live and laugh; be gay, be witty.
So that when your life is claimed by the reaper,
Every friend will be a weeper -
Weeping not because you are dead -
But ended is the pleasant life you led.

As I have written this, apparently she has passed away. Earlier this morning with some family by her side.

Learning Italian

2009-09-25T13:15:00.003-04:00

It's beginning to look like we will be spending more and more time in Italy. I'm hoping we will be able to spend most of our summers there in the future. I usually have a standing offer to teach over there, and I am putting together a cross-cultural immersion trip for the students at my university. The plan is to go there shortly after the semester ends in the summer, and spend a month or so there...until I have to return to run my summer camp in July. The kids will go to camp while I work. Beginning this summer, E will be old enough to go to camp in Italy.

So, it's time for the kids to learn Italian. It will be very difficult for E to go to an Italian camp if he can't communicate with the other kids and instructors. Last night, the kids had their first Italian lesson. I hired one of my students to come over for an hour or two every week to spend time speaking to the kids in Italian. She is their Italian babysitter, and as far as they are concerned, she speaks absolutely no English.

It looks like the first night went well. They totally believe she is Italian and they even learned a few words here and there. I'm learning some, too! I'm going to try to do some more online, like Rosetta Stone, so I can get up to speed, too. This should be fun!

Just Busy!

2009-09-23T13:33:00.004-04:00

The goats LOVED to eat clothes!

e feeding the goat...the goat just wants to go to sleep!

E hanging from a tree.
These are some random pictures from a visit to the zoo we took
this month to meet up with one of E's half siblings.

I have been very negligent on my posting. Things have been pretty busy at work, and I never have any time to myself in the evenings. This past weekend we met up with one of E's half siblings and her mom. I really love them both and consider them part of our family. As E and e grow up, I hope they see them the same way. I told E that the girl's mom had used the same donor that I used, and he just said "Oh yeah. I remember them." We see each other about once a year. It seems a year goes by so fast. Hopefully, we'll have time to see each other more often in the future! We had a great time together.

Things have been busy with work, too. I have several events that I'm planning this semester. Last year, I got a fairly large grant from the State. I have to spend the money by the end of this semester! While it sounds really great to have received the grant, it's a LOT of work to spend the money! I used part of the money to start a company (this was part of the grant process). I hired a company in India to make my web page and they have been really great. However, I don't know enough about web design to know what I'm missing. I've been at a road block for several months now and feeling very frustrated. I finally found someone local to help walk me through the process so I know what to tell the Indian company to do. Phew. Let's hope it's finished in the next couple of weeks so I can move on to the next phase! I still need to change the company address to a PA company, trademark the name, and do some email blasts...all after the testing phase. I'll keep you updated.

Finding extracurricular activities is always a challenge around here. We live in the middle of nowhere. E does not want to do soccer, e will be old enough to start soccer in the Spring. On Monday, I started E with Tae Kwon Do. It only meets once a week, but he seemed pretty happy with it, so we'll continue. I thought e might want to try it, too, but her attention span just wasn't there yet.

E LOVES rock wall climbing, though. When we were in Italy this past summer, he tried it and was clearly a natural. I finally found a place about thirty minutes away that has some good walls, so we'll try that soon...maybe this week, we can start to get into some sort of schedule there. They don't have any classes for E's age, but at least we can get some practice in and see what else they can offer. e is now starting to want to do something, too....I thought the Tae Kwon Do would work with her, but no luck....maybe we'll try a dance class.

My Bad....But THEY'RE Bad, Too....

2009-09-09T10:36:00.004-04:00

Okay, I made a mistake. We are probably the only university in the United States that has classes on Labor Day. The local schools and daycares, of course, are closed. So, every year I find myself trying to figure out whether to cancel classes or find coverage for my kids. Over the last two or three years the daycare (which also has the after school program for E) has agreed to be open for the University people who need child care (and who are already getting care at the center). We pay our regular rate, and the University has agreed to pay the over-time for those who get called in (obviously, the University noticed that we were all canceling our classes that day). The center agreed that E could come this year, as well, but not next year since he will be in first grade at that time. Okay, fine. There are usually a total of about six kids who go in on Labor Day.

So, I did not read the memo clearly that said we would have child care until 4:30. I got a call at 4:45 to pick up the kids. I apologized profusely and was at the center to pick them up less than ten minutes later. My bad. I should have read the memo more clearly. The two girls who were watching the kids didn't seem overly bothered by the whole thing.

The next morning, I get this email:

Leann,

It came to my attention this morning that you picked up yesterday twenty-five minutes after the agreed upon end time for the Labor day child care (4:30). A staff member had to call you to remind you about the pick-up time and when you arrived you stated that you thought care was available until 5:30. I've been assured that the correct start and end times for care yesterday were communicated to all participating SU families. Your late pick up and lack of attention to the details of this special day of child care service created unnecessary hardship for our staff. SUMCD reserves the right NOT to provide Labor Day services to your family next year, our decision will depend upon your compliance with parent policies during the coming 12 months.

Thank you,
Bob L*ng
Center Director

Okay, I was assured by the girls that I did not cause unnecessary hardship. They indicated that they had nowhere they had to be and were consequently not late for anything as a result of my tardiness. Also keep in mind that Bob is not one of my favorite people. I think he's a total bozo, so when I get things like this, it really pisses me off. I made a mistake. Get over it. I've been using the center for over five years now and have never been late. I make a simple mistake and all of a sudden, I'm being threatened that my behavior will be monitored for the next year.

As a management expert, I am so tempted to say something to him. Something that makes it clear to him that this is not a great way to treat one of your best customers. I pay my bills on time, I pay full price for the services, I'm never late, my kids are good. Writing a nastygram and threatening me because of one incident just pisses me off and makes me more unhappy with the center (and him). I'll probably just leave it, but he just continues with the stupidity. Am I being overly sensitive because I got nailed for something I did wrong (and to make it worse, from someone who I think is a total idiot)? I hope not. I just think it was the wrong way to handle the situation.

Random Thoughts About Discipline

2009-09-07T16:30:00.003-04:00

Does anyone else think that sometimes they are too hard on their kids? Or too soft? Sometimes I think I'm too hard on them, other times, not hard enough. Okay, my house is always a mess, so I don't think I'm hard enough on them to clean up after themselves (thank goodness for the cleaning women!). On some things, though, or sometimes, I think I'm too hard. I often wonder if it's just the mood I happen to be in, or is it because I have to be hard sometimes since I don't have another authority figure to fall back on.

For instance, last night when I was trying to get the kids to go to bed, they were running around being crazy...like kids. I'm so thankful that they get along so well and love to play with each other, but I have a low tolerance for the multitude of delays that occur at bedtime. I'm hungry is always a big one, I have to brush my teeth (for the fourth time), I have to get this, I have to get that, there's always something else that keeps us up for another hour. I always lay down with them in E's room to read at least one chapter of the book we are reading. Right now, we are reading Lost On The Moon. It's an old book, probably written in the 40's or earlier, but as adventurous as 20,000 Leagues Under The Sea (which is coming up on our reading list - can you tell I'm loving the free books I get on my Kindle?).

I asked if they were ready for me to start the chapter and they said yes. They were both laying down ready to listen. Then E had to go to the bathroom - for the third time in fifteen minutes. Another delay. e, of course, has to go with him. I continue to read, then they start fooling around. Since they are not listening to the book, I asked e to turn off the light (her job every night since she can now reach it). E freaks out and says he will listen now. He continued to cry about hearing more from the book and that he will now listen. Sometimes, I think I should budge on things, but most of the time, I know I should stick to my guns. I think E was really over-tired at this point, because he just got more and more upset - to the point where I had to tell him that we were going to leave the room to give him some time for time-out. Five minutes later, he was calm and ready to listen to me tell him to go to sleep. I told him that if he was good, I would read the rest of the chapter AND the next chapter the next night. That seemed to suffice.

I feel bad when I hold some things back as discipline, when I know they are good for them...reading, for instance....Does anyone else think that disciplining our kids is one of the more difficult parts of parenting? It's so hard to know whether you are doing it right, being too hard, or being too soft. I suppose I should just look at how my kids are turning out to get the answer to that question. They are well behaved...most of the time. But, that's just part of being a kid. If they were well behaved ALL the time, I guess I would think that something is wrong...like they are not having enough fun.

Isn't fun the goal for a kid? Isn't it really the goal in LIFE? In the classes that I teach, I try to make them as fun as possible. Learning should be fun, too...I often see some of the other professors poo-pooing the students for being childish in class. I just say to myself - get over it! They are just having fun! For goodness sake, life doesn't always have to be that serious! Okay, that's another story altogether....

Back to the kids and disciplining. I guess I do have my pet peeves...getting to bed is one of them. I don't think I would care so much if I didn't have to lay down with them...that's my fault for making them dependent on me in order to fall asleep. At the same time, I think it's really great bonding time with them. We talk, we cuddle, we read. Once they fall asleep, I go into my room. When I was little, my mom would just put me in my room, say goodnight, and go downstairs to get work done. Of course, there were four of us, so that makes it more difficult to lay down with all four at once. Anyway, while I have a low tolerance for delays at bedtime, I really enjoy my time with them at night.

Okay, that's the end of my discipline post...Maybe I've answered my own questions by now.

He's Growing Up Too Fast

2009-09-01T11:04:00.006-04:00

Well, I dropped off my baby to his first day of Kindergarten today. He was a little nervous, but he was so preoccupied with looking at everything and checking out his desk that I'm sure he didn't even notice his mommy crying away.
Okay, am I the only wimp? How come I didn't see any of the other moms crying when they were dropping off their children to the first day of Kindergarten? This is such a big day for him! E did great. I was surprised that he had no trouble falling asleep last night. This morning, once I reminded him that this was his first day of school, he popped right up and got dressed. I gave him a new shirt to wear, outfitted him in his new backpack, and off we went. When we got to school, I walked him to his classroom and he found his cubby right away. Apparently I can only walk him to his classroom this first week. Next week, he's on his own. School gets out at 3:00, at which time he will take the bus to the daycare center for his after-school program. It's nice that I can pick him and e up at the same place!

No more little boy. :-(

Kindergarten...Already!????

2009-08-26T15:18:00.003-04:00

E with his new Kindergarten teacher, Mr. McGuire

I look at pictures that I took of my kids just six months ago and can't believe how much they've changed. E is looking like a kid already, and e has lost all her baby look. She is as sassy as ever but I still love the three's. I'm convinced there is no such thing as "Terrible Two's." It's all in the threes.

E starts Kindergarten next week. Last night, we went to his school's open house so we could see where his classroom is, meet his teacher, and see the school a little more. E was very nervous but seemed to be really looking forward to going to school next week. Poor e doesn't really understand why she can't go with him. She keeps saying that she's going to kindergarten, too. I think she's really going to miss playing with E during the day and having his company.

E and e in front of E's new school

This is the first year that the Kindergarten has been in this school, so there is still a lot of construction going on. Hopefully, the playground will be up by the time school starts...for the teachers' sanity!

Twenty-one Holes

2009-08-24T09:43:00.003-04:00

The ground in this area is like clay mixed with rock. Not the easiest to dig. So, I hired one of my neighborhood kids to start digging holes in my yard for the 21 trees I bought. Yes, 21 Thuja Green Giants will be planted along the property line between my house and the pool. Apparently, these trees (part of the arborvitae family) are fast growing and the most highly recommended for a privacy screen. I found some on ebay delivered to my house for almost half the price as I would have bought them locally. I'm paying my neighborhood kid $100 to dig the 21 holes (12" around and 15" deep!). The trees are 3-5' tall already, so it shouldn't be long before I have a decent screen. They should arrive on Thursday.

The kids had a great time this weekend. Saturday night we went to one of the local amusement parks for the evening with some friends. It was really humid and hot but we still had a good time. Yesterday, was the annual picnic at my university. Every year, the week before school starts, they have a welcome back picnic for everyone. It's potluck plus a lot of food provided by Aramark, our food provider. There is always a ton for the kids to do, usually at least two large inflatables and several games, as well as snow cones and popcorn. The kids are disappointed when the inflatables have to be taken down, but they sleep well at night after all that running around!

Friday night was interesting....somehow a yellow jacket got into the house. We were watching tv and I felt something kind of pinch my leg. It was the bee giving me a little sting. I shooed it off my leg and it hit E's toe and stung him a little, too. Fortunately, it was not a full sting for either of us, so it didn't have the hurt. E didn't cry, but he did start to break out in hives a little. Poor guy, he had also gotten stung earlier in the week while at school. He apparently thought he killed a bee and went to pick it up. Of course, it gave him a good sting on his finger. No hives, though. That's why this one was so strange. Anyway, I am not so lucky with bees. I am severely allergic and carry an epi-pen wherever I go. Since it wasn't a big sting, I wasn't sure whether I should take the injection. I called my doctor and told him that I was feeling a little short of breath but wasn't sure if it was from the sting, or because I was focusing on it so much! I've never had to take the injection before. This is the first time I've gotten stung since my first anaphilactic reaction which was over ten years ago. Well, to make a long story short, I finally gave myself the injection, took some benedryl (also gave some to E) and waited...I was having more trouble breathing, so I was glad I took the injection. I called a friend over to stay with us just until I was sure it worked.

This was LATE Friday night. Poor kids, they just can't go to bed without me laying next to them. And, I couldn't lay down with them until I was sure I wasn't going to have more of a reaction since I didn't want to fall asleep myself. So, there we all sat and watched tv until about 11:30. They were both a little tired the next day, but everyone was healthy.

The Local View

2009-08-07T10:41:00.006-04:00

Since I moved here six years ago (I still can't believe it's been that long), I've seen a lot of things that I just don't see too often (or at all) in other places of the country. Since I was born and raised in CT, I'm still a New England gal at heart, so some of these things seem pretty strange. So, I've decided to start a list...it probably won't be too long, but I'll add to it now and then. Some of the things help to give this place a quaint charm, other things just make me scratch my head and go "hmmmmmm......"

Amish families who come to your door to deliver baked goods, eggs, and veggies - Yes, for many, they pull up in their horse and buggy and come a knockin'.
Testicles hanging from the back of trucks - Don't ask. I have no idea.
Mullets. Lots of mullets.
Halloween parades - every year there are several Halloween parades in the area full of homemade floats, local politicians, youth groups, LOTS of firetrucks and whoever wants to march. They are pretty long, usually lasting a good hour or so. Most in the parade throw candy out to the kids, who often dress in their Halloween costumes. Santa Claus marks the end of the parade.
Christmas parades - same thing at Christmas. The kids gather outside the local mall where a parade, similar to the one at Halloween, is held. This one is a little shorter, but just as hokey, and still a LOT of fire trucks and candy thrown out for the kids. Santa Claus again marks the end of the parade.
Chicken and waffles - obviously a savory dish?
Menanite families arriving in droves to shop at WalMart - They just pile into their minivans and come as a group.
The Nascar trucks - every year, after the Nascar race, the trucks carrying the cars come through this area to get to the highway about an hour south of here. People pack the streets to watch the trucks go by, cheering for their favorite drivers. Now remember, most of the time, the actual drivers of the cars are not in the trucks, and you can't SEE the racecars. It's just the trucks that carry them that form this sort of "parade". Also, it is not a formal parade where things are planned. People just "know" that the trucks will be coming through about two and a half hours after the race ends and then they start to line the streets. I haven't seen this phenomenon yet, but I suppose I should go for the experience at some point!
No school on the first day of hunting season - all the schools are officially closed (except the Universities).

The Pool Saga Continues

2009-08-06T12:46:00.004-04:00

Okay, so last weekend M had her birthday party and, of course it was a pool party. Both E and e were invited. Finally, an invitation to use the neighbor's pool! E was great. Even though he was the only boy at the party, he had a great time. He really showed everyone that he is a very strong swimmer and loves being in the water. Since the kids were having such a great time, we even stayed a little later so they could play after all the other kids had gone home. So, you would think that J & J (the parents) would see how much my kids liked to swim and play with M. E even did really well with S at the pool. They got along great and even spent a fair amount of time playing tag in the pool.

That was last weekend. Now, three days later, we are back to the old situation. Last night, when we got home, their family was in the pool. By the time we finished dinner and got outside, there were about three or four other kids in the pool and three of the other moms were sitting by the pool chatting. These other kids were more M's friends than S's. So, I thought for sure E and e would be invited into the pool.

I told E and e to go get their suits on and that we would go outside and play. If they weren't invited to the pool, we would play with our sprinkler (which, unfortunately, we couldn't find!). So, up they went to get their suits on. e had a box of mints she wanted to share with everyone. I thought this would be a good opportunity to go over and have a little bit of an ice-breaker. e and I walked over to the fence. I said to S that e has something to ask her. She immediately assumed that we wanted to ask to come into the pool. She gave me an unhappy look and said "I'll ask my dad." I said, "No, S, e wants to ask YOU a question." "I'll ask my dad." "No, S, e wants to ask YOU a question." "Daaaaad" she yells for her dad (who was also by the pool) and points to us. So I said again, "No, S, e wants to ask YOU a question." To which she starts to walk away to ask her dad if we can come into the pool. So I just told e to forget it and to ask someone else if they wanted a mint. e asked one of the other little girls, L, if she wanted a mint. S looked confused and then realized what we wanted. Of course, then S and all the other kids lined up on the other side of the fence with smiles on their faces to get mints from e. J (the father) even mentioned how they looked like zoo animals lining up to be fed, but there was absolutely no attempt to invite the kids to swim. I just don't get it. There my kids are in their bathing suits, looking at the other kids swimming (who are also friends with my kids), and J and J do not invite them over.

A friend of mine says that I should just "be a man" and say something (calmly, of course) to them...like ask them if they have an open pool policy and say that I don't want to just take my kids over there without an invitation. I think that it's just polite, friendly, neighborly and obvious to give a verbal invitation to people when you see them standing there. Either way, the arbor vitae are looking more and more attractive. I think I might have to get them in sooner rather than later. I wonder how hearty they are if I planted them this late in the season. A wrought iron fence around a pool is as good as no fence at all when it comes to privacy. It just makes things very awkward....still.

Health Update

2009-08-04T10:23:00.003-04:00

Summer is my time to take care of all the things I don't have time to do during the academic year. Since I am a college professor, the semesters are crazy and the summers are fairly relaxing. I have known for years that my cholesterol was high but I didn't want to start taking any meds for it until after I had the kids. So, two years ago, I finally went back to the doctor to start monitoring it more closely. Of course, it was much higher than it had been before I had the kids, so I started taking a statin drug. It did the trick and lowered my cholesterol to 175.

Now that I am 45 and as overweight as I've ever been, I'm becoming increasingly concerned that I am going to turn into my mother. She was diabetic, had heart disease, and many of the complications that are related to those. It was heartbreaking for me to watch her be ill for so many years while I was growing up. She died when she was 68, much too young. She had her first heart attack when she was not much older than me. I see many of her same habits in myself and that scares the shit out of me.

I have tried diet after diet and each time I lose some weight, but when I go off the diet, I gain back all the weight and then some. I just finished being on JC for about the last year. I lost a max of about 17 pounds but then started to inch back up to my pre-JC weight. When we left for Europe, I was so frustrated with the program (or myself) (even though I really do like the food) that I decided to take a break from it. Because I do so much walking when I travel, I usually lose weight. Not this time. I was really surprised when I weighed in. I'm now the heaviest I've ever been.

So, before I left for Europe, I had already scheduled a physical for when I returned. I wanted to get everything back on track. I asked for all the blood tests in the world so I could really watch things more closely and make sure there were no more signs of heart disease or diabetes creeping in. I find it so amazing that I need to ask for these things and that the doctors are not even suggesting them to me. I also started to go to the GI clinic (AKA fat clinic) at the local hospital and had my first appoint there last week. I go back every month. I wasn't feeling so bad about my own weight when I saw some of the other people in the waiting room, but I still know that I'm heading for trouble. My cholesterol test came back as elevated again, so I'm increasing my dosage of the statin.

And, have I mentioned that I'm REALLY tired of this damn cast on my leg!? Okay, yes, it is removable and it is a walking cast, but it's still REALLY hot, uncomfortable and impossible to sleep with. Maybe I should give it a name and be happy I'm sleeping with someone else besides my children. Three more weeks...ugh.

Pink Lemonade

2009-08-03T12:04:00.005-04:00

E asked if he and e could have a lemonade stand yesterday. It was a hot day and the clouds were just about to roll in. Fortunately, the rain only lasted for a few minutes. So, off to the store we went to pick up some lemonade, cups, ice, and poster board. E said that he and e would split the money they made.

We brought their little picnic table and all the supplies to the entrance of our neighborhood. They set up camp there. I even gave them a bag of potato chips so they could offer them for free to customers. I figured this was a great business learning experience for them. They learn how to attract customers, how to treat customers, and to not be too frustrated if people didn't stop. They waved at passersby to get their attention (most people waved back, of course, not all stopped!). e had her tutu on, and I found it hard to believe that anyone could resist her in that! E was a great businessman. He even offered to help one woman carry her three cups to her car. They charged 75 cents a cup - most people let them keep the change. In all, they made about $18 and sold about a gallon of lemonade! Not bad! I think they were out there for about an hour and a half.

When E and e got home, E started to count his earnings. One of my neighbors works for the state and is not getting paid right now until they figure out the budget. E knew this and decided to split his earnings evenly between himself, e, and the neighbor. Very cute. Of course the neighbor did not accept his six dollars and all the money went right into both of their piggy banks. I thought for sure they would want to take a trip to the store to buy something, but they didn't even think about it. I think that's a good sign!

Awkwardness

2009-07-29T16:05:00.002-04:00

We live in a great neighborhood. Most Saturday nights in the summer, someone has the "ice cream flag." That is where the neighborhood will gather at 7:00 for ice cream. The kids love it. Sometimes, there will be an outdoor movie after ice cream, at one of my neighbors' houses...she has a tarp hung over her deck to show movies. Everyone just brings a lawn chair or blanket, some popcorn, or whatever, and watches the movie. We also have a block party every year...just a great community.

About a year or so ago, my neighbor's little girl started bullying E. I have no idea what triggered it, she just all of a sudden started bullying him - not including him on things, telling others to do the same, pushing and sometimes hitting him. She was eight at the time and E was four. Her mother and I had a couple talks and I do believe her mom tried to nip it off at the bud. However, she can only do so much. Things have definitely improved, but S (the girl next door) still bullies once in awhile. The sad thing is that she drags all the other neighborhood kids in on it because they are all afraid of her. She is one of those kids who is extremely athletic and will beat just about any boy in any sport. She also dresses and acts like a boy. Anyway, the kids follow her. E is one of the youngest kids in the neighborhood, so I guess he's a good candidate to pick on.

This summer, that same neighbor put in an inground pool. The fence they put around it is just wrought iron, so, while it prevents any accidents from occurring, it does not provide any privacy -- for them or us. Our backyards just blend together. When the pool was being built, they told us we could come over any time. But, I feel really awkward doing that without a formal invitation each time. So, when we go out to our backyard, my kids just look over there and watch everyone else jumping and playing in the pool. Of course, the other kids in the neighborhood, just show up in their bathingsuits. I'm fairly sure they are not formally invited either. And, I don't think we would get a formal invitation if S is in the pool with her friends.

Now, S has a younger sister, M. I can see M looking over at us with a look in her eye that wants to play with E, but she has hardly spoken to us since we returned from Europe. I can only wonder what kind of brainwashing S did while we were away. M and E used to play well together. Now, nothing. So, even if S were in the pool with her friends, it would be logical for E to go over and play, too, with M (who is just two years older than E).

So, we now have an awkward situation. My kids are constanly staring at the pool, but don't get invitations to come over. I'm thinking I should put some privacy bushes between their yard and ours, but don't want to create tension between our families. We really do like the family. In fact, M is having a birthday pool party this weekend, to which E and e were invited. I just don't really understand what is going on there. It seems to me that if it were our pool, and I saw M or S outside, I would tell them to get their suits on and come over.

Dating...help?

2009-07-21T12:07:00.002-04:00

Okay, for anyone who is trying to get into the dating scene, I could use a little help here. With a lot of persuasion from a friend of mine, I decided to join eH. They send about a half dozen matches a day for me to look at. I have to admit that some of them look interesting.

Part of me really wants to date, and part of me really doesn't want to deal with it. In so many ways I am happy with the way things are right now. However, I know the kids are getting older, and it would be good for me to have a partner in life.

So, how to go about doing it....it's really scary! Do you contact people who look interesting? Or, do you wait to see who is going to contact you? What if you're not interested in the ones who contact you? Do you indicate you are not interested (for whatever reason)? Or, do you just ignore their inquiries? Any other suggestions? Yikes is all I have to say!

Catching up

2009-07-21T11:29:00.009-04:00

We're finally back. Four weeks traveling through Europe. We returned a week ago, late Thursday night and I started teaching my summer camp on Sunday. No rest for the wicked! The kids were great in Europe. For the week or so in Italy, we did a lot of hiking. We had a little apartment on the mountain. When we walked out of it, we could see the Lake and a beautiful view of the villages below. It was breathtaking. There was a good pizza restaurant within walking distance. All the villages are cobblestone and very old. We had a great time!

I think the highlight for E was the rock climbing wall. He had absolutely no fear and easily went up the 55 foot wall. He was anxious to do every zip line in the place, too, but got kicked off because he forgot to have at least one campon clipped at a time. He'll remember next time! He's clearly a natural, though. I'll have to look into getting him more lessons.

e just liked to play all the time. Can't blame her. It was a tough trip for a three year old. I think she did enjoy all the hiking we did. She didn't seem to complain during those times. But, she was not too happy about all the city walking in 100 degree weather when we were in Athens.

The hotel we stayed in in Cyprus was wonderful. It was a truly a vacation for me. Included in the price was a Kids Camp where they went for two hours in the morning and two hours in the afternoon. That gave me some time to wash clothes, do work, get a spa treatment, or just lounge by the pool. In the evening, they had kid oriented things to do, too. All for free. We spent a lot of time by the pool, did some walking on the beach, and did a lot of the events sponsored by the hotel.

Egypt was really cool. There are no words to describe how awesome the pyramids really are when you see them in person. To think that people made them thousands of years ago is just astonishing. We took a short cruise to Egypt from Cyprus. The little girl sitting next to us during meals was adorable. E could not keep his eyes off her and just stared at her during meals with a dreamy look on his face. After awhile he gave her a napkin rose and she made a napkin swan for him. Very cute.

Athens was totally unimpressive. It's worth it to see the Parthenon and Acropolis, but the city itself is busy, hot, dirty, and there is graffiti EVERYWHERE. It's actually not a whole lot different than being in New York City, but I thought is was not as clean as NYC. Go figure. I was happy we only spent a short length of time there.

Turns out that three days before we left Athens, I broke my foot. I did not want to go to the hospital there and have to deal with the insurance problems, so I waited until after I got home to have it taken care of. So, there I was, walking miles a day in Athens, sometimes carrying a sleeping three year old for an hour or so at a time, hobbling along with a broken foot. Oh well. Didn't our parents walk for miles in bare feet in the snow just to get us food? Or something like that? I only walked on a broken foot for about ten days...could have been worse!

I am hoping to spend more time in Italy next year. I want the kids to get fluent in Italian so we can start spending a significant amount of time there. I guess I need to start learning Italian, too!

Hotels, hotels, and more hotels...

2009-06-02T16:31:00.002-04:00

We are leaving on a trip to Europe next week. Italy, Eqypt, Cyprus, Athens...There is SO much research to do to put these kinds of trips together! Mostly, at this point, which hotels to stay in and exactly how much time to spend in each place. Fortunately, Italy is completely taken care of, so I don't have to worry about accommodations there. Eqypt is a short cruise, so that's also taken care of. I decided to stay at the conference hotel in Cyprus since it is on the beach and has a pool...and it's more like a resort hotel. The kids will be kept busy.

Still, I had to research lots of other hotels in the area to make sure that was the RIGHT one to stay at. Then, the big question was when to go to Athens..should we spend a week in Cyprus? A week and a half? I have about 2 and a half weeks to split between the two countries. At first, I didn't think there was going to be much to do in Athens, aside from the usual ruins. That, apparently takes up about three days. I wanted to be sure to have plenty to keep the kids occupied. Anyway, to make a long story short, I believe I have decided to spend a little over a week in Cyprus and about a week in Athens (I found a resort hotel there, too, that is on the beach). I know, life's rough when this is all I have to think about. All in all, we'll be gone for four weeks. I'm really looking forward to it but suddently realizing how much I have to do before we leave!

Well, there are other things, too! I'm in the process of starting a new company. I FINALLY decided on a logo. That took forever. The logo designer had the patience of a saint given that I kept going back and forth, and asking him to make the slightest modifications so I could see them. I'm sure he's glad to have me off his list! Now, is the web page. That's going to take a lot more work. I hired a company in India to put it together and they have been great. It just takes a lot of time for me to review it and figure out what's missing and what's not...I'm sure I'll drive them crazy, too, before long. I'm learning a lot throughout the process, though!

Caterpillars, Caterpillars....

2009-05-27T10:18:00.002-04:00

e has a thing for caterpillars lately. The poor things. About a week ago she found one in the yard and decided to keep it. First she lost it in the house. Fortunately, a couple hours later, I found it crawling on the living room floor. She decided she had to save the caterpillar. Since I wouldn't let her keep it in the house, she put it in a cup outside on the patio....with a few almonds, in case it got hungry. Then it rained...and rained, and rained. The caterpillar drowned, but she didn't really care. She still wanted to keep it. So, she walked around with the dead caterpillar for a couple days. Then, over the weekend, she found another one at a friend's house. I told her it was already dead, but she still wanted to keep it. In her haste, she broke it in half. So, into the cup, the two halves went. Fortunately, we "forgot" to bring that one home.
This is my first post! I think it's about time I started one of these things since they are a great way to keep track of what is happening with the kids.

We went to the Barnum and Bailey Circus last weekend. WOW! What a multimedia event! Lights, lasers, great singing and music, incredible talent! I'm never sure who has more fun at these things - the kids or me.